Brain Cramp in 2015

So many things running through my head lately.... It’s hard for me to really make sense of it all....

Identity, and how we see ourselves. Is it based on choices, actions, perception? Mistakes? How others see us, and how we relate to others? Where do labels play a role in it all? Plus related things like.... memories, emotions, thoughts…

Non-verbal communication, and how often it causes miscommunication, or just lack of communication. Body language. Writing. The sense. I’m a very tactile person, and that’s a huge part of how I communicate. And that’s something that gets me in trouble on occasion....plus it can be very difficult to get someone to understand or hear.

Sexuality, particularly how sex relates to the previous two. The use of the sense…especially (for me) touch. How our sexual experience, both good and bad, ties into our identity. Plus, the differences between how others see us in light of those experiences (or perceived experiences) and how we see ourselves in light of them.

Motivation, and its nemesis apathy. The tug of war between what we need to do, what we should do, and what we want to do. Or what we don’t want to do. Priorities and responsibilities, and how that affects motivation, choice, and action versus how desire, excitement, etc affects them. Plus, how (for me at least) health and energy levels play such a crucial role.

Selfishness, and how we define that. Is it inherently negative, like it often connotes? Where is the line between selfishness and self-care? I often struggle with a strong sense of being selfish, especially in my choices. I’ve been told by some that I certainly am, or at least can be.... while I’ve had others surprised by that. Selfish with my time, energy, attention. How much of that is because of my perpetual lack of energy and need to recharge, and how much is a part of my personality?