DePhoMo - 12/3 in DePhoMo

A few months back I took care of a young woman who had been in a horrific car accident after being hit by a drunk driver and subsequently lost her arm. (OD entry here: http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=D204645&entry=10663&mode=date) She was in our ICU for a few weeks with broken ribs, too sick to get off the ventilator but still aware and able to interact by writing note with her remaining arm. In that time, I cared for her every shift I worked and grew close with her and her family. Eventually she got stronger and thanks to my knowing her so well and feeling confident in her recovery thus far, I pushed hard for the doctors to take her breathing tube out before they thought she was ready. She did great without it and moved upstairs to our rehab unit before moving on to a rehab hospital for more intense rehabilitation.

I went up to visit her on our rehab unit a week after she left our ICU and the day before she left for the outside rehab facility. She cried immediately upon me coming in the room and welcomed me with a giant hug and a sweet speech about how much I meant to her and how my belief in her helped pull her through the toughest time in her life so far. She gave me her phone number and asked me to please follow up and please stay in touch. I'm usually a bit hesitant to do this because while I love my job and feel passionate about it, I also feel I need 'off time' and bringing work home or sharing 'off time' personal information like my cell phone number or address make me feel uncomfortably vulnerable. While our interactions were during her most painful, raw, real life moments, they were during my working hours and in order to maintain a healthy disconnect between work and home, I can't take every patient 'home' with me. So I took her number and put it in my pocket and wished her well without any commitment.

Well, I spoke with my boss shortly after that and asked about hospital policy just to make sure any communication I had with her wouldn't be punishable at my job. Apparently if you feel ok with continuing a friendship with a patient after discharge you are completely allowed to without any repercussions from the hospital. I was a bit surprised but appreciated the information, tucking it away without doing anything about it.

Fast forward to Thanksgiving and I was reflecting on the last year and my blessings and the things I was most thankful for and this woman's story came to mind. I knew I had touched her deeply and that my face, actions and strong will had really connected with her and made a difference in her life. I quickly sent of a text message saying hi, hoped she was doing well and telling her that getting to know her was something that meant a lot to me too. I didn't necessarily expect to hear back but I wanted her to know that I had thought of her and was sending my support.

I didn't hear back that night and didn't think anything of it. Maybe her cell number changed. Maybe she didn't want to talk to me. Maybe she was traveling somewhere. Then, last night, text after text start pouring into my inbox.

I texted back and forth, happy to hear from her, asking questions, listening about a new boyfriend and her time at the outside rehab facility and about her struggles and successes in the months since she had left our unit. Eventually she asked for my address and wanted to send a Christmas card.

I thought about it a bit and was a little hesitant then went ahead and sent it to her. She hasn't been threatening at all and if it helps her heal to express her gratitude to me, I am happy to help in any way I can. She sent me her address as well and I will be including her on my Christmas card list.

Near the end of the conversation she asked how I was doing and I gave a quick synoposis of life here, touching on just the surface-y things.

And then we said goodbye and who knows when we'll talk again. She is a wonderful woman in awful circumstances and I'm thankful our paths crossed. She was such a fighter, pushing through some incredibly difficult and painful circumstances to come out on the other side with her head held high and looking forward to the future. She inspired me every day I took care of her and more often than not, we don't ever get to hear how our patients do after discharge because they don't remember their time with us due to being so sick. I'm touched she continued to think of me and wrote me back such kind things. There isn't another job in the world I can imagine loving as much as this one. And patients like this are a large reason why.