Religious beliefs. in Since OD is shutting down....

Yeah alright so I’m not sure where to start. Dan and I are no longer dating. We’ve decided to be just friends due to his Christianity. He’s completely against sex before marriage and I’m not into having a sexless relationship, it’s just not even up for discussion. I went over to his house last night and made a comment about him showering with me…well I get out of the shower and he starts by saying he wants us to wait 3 months before having sex to not doing it until he’s married. I was absolutely floored. I’ve never had a guy with these kinds of beliefs and I’m not willing to even entertain the idea.

I left really angry and confused last night and came home. I was exhausted from work and just wanted to go to sleep, not listen to him go on and on about how if we had sex it would be a mistake which really hurt me on a deep level and what not so I wanted to come home. He text me at like 3 this morning saying how if we stayed together there would be too much tension and we just want different things. I completely agree. We decided to be friends and even hung out earlier today before he went to work.

I’m okay with this because I felt that we were rushing into things and I didn’t want to hang out with him as much as he wanted to hang out with me. I honestly was getting sick of being around him all the time and was annoyed that we always had to take his fucking dog with us everywhere too. The dog sat between us in his truck and even slept between us when I spent the night on Friday!!! Like, yeah a little bit too much for me to handle.

It’s been a pretty good day off though. I had my niece for much of the day, she went with me while I got groceries and we went to the park. I was actually sleeping on the couch with her sitting on me because I was so tired. I dozed off for about 5 minutes earlier because I’m just so tired from work and not getting enough sleep, due to hanging out with Dan.

As crazy as this sounds, I’m glad that things didn’t work out and everything came to light 2 days after making it official because that way my time and effort wasn’t wasted. I was annoyed with him for different things and for him to tell me that we weren’t going to have sex, I wanted my way out and he gave it to me. Everything happens for a reason and I’m just so used to it not working out with any guy that it doesn’t even phase me anymore. My biggest concern is things getting awkward at work but I know that’s not going to happen.

I’m excited about bedtime tonight. It’s just so nice to be in my own house and wake up alone. I liked staying at his house but it was dirty and he wouldn’t leave the ac on so I was always fucking hot. I was also really annoyed with his dog too. I’m glad that I won’t have to worry about it anymore. I don’t see him asking me to spend the night again, thank God. Honestly, I didn’t feel like we had that great of a connection anyway and shit was going to end sooner or later. He’s still a cool guy and everything but honestly, I didn’t want a relationship.

Things at work are going alright I guess. I didn’t make jack shit all week and I can’t even afford my car payment this week. I paid my student loans but I need to pay on my cable bill and my lights. I still have to get my oil changed as well. I am so fucking sick of not making enough money and constantly stressed about bills and how I’m going to pay everything. I am currently looking for a second job or just one job that I’d make enough to live on.

I am so glad I got to hang out with my little niece today but feel like I didn’t get enough time with her. I’m just so fucking tired. I know a lot of it is because I have been so stressed. I’ve lost a little bit of weight because I haven’t been able to afford to eat more than once or twice a day and I drink so much water. I need to figure out my gym stuff too because I am due to fill out my paperwork again.

Anyways, I’m gonna go put leftovers away and maybe see my little niece before she goes to bed.