beauty and rage in 2015

I’ve been listening to that album a lot lately. It has to do with creative stuff. I just needed a title.

I found two pennies today. Again.

The last three days have been, essentially, what it was like coming off of the estrogen-containing birth control, where we learned that I’m very sensitive (read: intolerant) of rising estrogen levels. I’ve felt my heartbeat–briefly, not like before–at rest. I’m bloated as heck. I’m stuffy. I took my diuretic yesterday and today and have been peeing like a racehorse as it’s all flushed out. I’m moody. It’s fucking deja vu. When I was at the doctor for the UTI, my blood pressure was like… 125/88. I should not have dismissed that as related to a mild infection that was largely asymptomatic (especially when one of two symptoms was frequent urination–that does the opposite of raising blood pressure).

I should not be having estrogen reactions at this point in my cycle. Less than a week after my period, estrogen should be close to bottomed out.

Oh, and just in case that wasn’t enough, I had a tiny, mucus-y, old-blood spot today. I never, ever spot mid-cycle. Ever.

I left a message with my OBGYN this afternoon.

Shit.

(Just to complicate matters, my new insurance doesn’t cover my OBGYN anymore. I’d have to go to their neighbors across the hall. This is dumb.)