Waking Up in Brief Thoughts

I have really tried not to bitch about my personal life. After all, it’s not like it’s that bad. I mostly have my health, just a bit overweight. I have a job. I have people around me that care about and love me. So it’s really not that bad. But how does a person find things in their life where they are happy to wake up each morning? I find myself rushing from work to home, home to work, simply with the goal of being done with each day. There is nothing where I slow down and find joy in the experience of it. Going through the motions, as it were. I wish I could stop being scared of failure and rejection. I wish I could just walk up to a woman and make a connection. I hate being scared of how it will end. I just want to have that one person that reminds me why I got up this morning and why I go home at night. I wish I could be that person for myself, to be stronger, but I’m just not. Oh well, maybe all I was meant to do was drift along, improving other’s lives as I wind through them, leaving nothing for myself. Should just be happy I can do that for others, I guess. Wish I knew how to do it for myself.