15-09.09 & .10 & .11.133 in Book Two: The Fifteenth Year of the Third Millennium of the Common Era

With my own PC still dead or dying; I’m doing updates at work. That means that I’m still not catching up on reading all of you and… frankly, that adds to my feelings of isolation. Because… whether I cared about you as a deep friend, respected you as an integral voice in the world, or just thought you were super interesting (likely all 3)… it is sad to me that I can’t/haven’t been keeping up like I want/should.

Wednesday
Wednesday I got approximately 145 minutes of sleep. Roughly the run time of the movie Independence Day. Grumph. In order to even get that I had to hit snooze a few times; so I didn’t get a much needed shower before going to morning court. The judge was one of those that doesn’t like programs so court only took an hour. I dumped my paperwork back at my office and drove home. Wife has the day off, so I knew she wouldn’t be checking mail. I checked it and… there was a package waiting for us in the Apartment office. !! I was excited and hopeful that it would (at long fucking last) be our wedding photo album. It was not. It was (yet another) new watch that Wife had ordered. Damn. I was really hoping it would be the photo books and that whole awful mess would finally be resolved. Showered, went back to work. I was given a trainee today… it was her first day. And it dawned on me… I started training people at this job in September of 2012. I have been training people that then go on to become lawyers elsewhere for approximately 3 years. The whole time I was training, I kept thinking… I really hope I’m training a replacement and not just another associate that becomes a co-worker that leaves and becomes a lawyer.
http://www.hark.com/clips/pklxfsrpnh-its-my-turn

Went back home and Wife was at a doctor’s appointment to renew her ADHD Rx. So I did the dishes and tidied up. I was slowing down REALLY bad so… against my better judgment, I closed my eyes a little… and had an hour nap. So… at least for the day I now had a little more than 3 hours of sleep.

Thursday
Thursday can best be summarized by the following
A Comic That Accurately Sums Up Depression and Anxiety

I had a SUPER long list of things to do. From exercise to e-mails to phone calss to errands to job applications to chores.... and even by around 4:30 pm… I was having a difficult time motivating myself to do many of them. I’d sent one e-mail and discovered 3 jobs to apply for. It took… considerably more concentration and self-talk to apply than it should have. BUT As long shot as they might be… I did at least apply to three more jobs. So that’s something. And the e-mail(s) I sent were about looking for work and improving my Resume, Cover Letter, and Writing Sample. So… forward progress? Of course… another part of me is dark about the whole thing. Bar Results for Summer Applicants came out today. So… that means another several thousand individuals just officially entered the market. The competition keeps going up.

Friday
Full day of work today. AM Felony Court and Interviews by myself; then training the New Kid on Felony/Misdemeanor Combined Court this afternoon. Shouldn’t take too long. After court, I plan to go to the grocery store to pick up juice, cash for laundry, and some alcohol. Haven’t bought alcohol in a few weeks. I’m also considering a laptop purchase. Home Depot has a fairly decent laptop for sale for under $500. I know I’ve been without a laptop for a while now… I know I want a laptop… I know I need a reliable computer for job search/application.... but… dropping that much money all at once when I still have Law School Loans and no legal job gets inside my head. Maybe I’ll flip a coin to determine whether I buy the laptop or not.

Wife hasn’t been feeling well. She has a canker sore (or something) on the underside of her tongue. This one is, apparently, a nightmare beyond explanation and has lasted a week. Last night, every bite of food was followed with a loud yell of “Ow.” This… is something I’m trying to be better about. As I am always in pain and people were always very quick (and veryeager) to tell me to shut up about my pain… when someone is complaining of physical pain it is often difficult for me to not be annoyed. So, when Wife is repeatedly shouting “ow!”… it is a significant mental exercise to keep my annoyance in check. Especially as, since it is my Wife, the annoyance of repeated “Ow!”s is compounded by my own annoyance that there is nothing I can do to help. My inner monologue really does say, “There’s nothing I can do to assist, shouting ow doesn’t make the pain go away… other than seeking attention, why would someone vocalize pain in such a way?” Because… yeah. That’s where my brain is. This morning, Wife honestly was strongly considering calling into work because “the pain was so bad.” Seriously… not an area that I am equipped to deal with in others. I simply suggested that if she does feel so bad that she has to call in to work; her next phone call should immediately be to a doctor so she can get that thing checked out. Because if it is going to interrupt your life to the point of missing work, you don’t have an excuse not to see a doctor. We’ll see what she decides when I get home.

Before I forget… I did contact my friends about writing samples. Most of them suggested that I use a portion of my appellate brief for Moot Court… especially since it helped me win a best Orator nod. GOOD idea! Wait, shit. Since my laptop is dead, if I had a digital copy (which I doubt) I can’t access it. After Wife and I searched through our physical files, I don’t have a copy physically of my brief. Shit. There is still a slim/slight/small possibility that it is on a memory card somewhere… so that will be part of what I do this weekend. Trying to find that! If I can’t… one of my friends said (wisely) that I should still be practicing legal writing anyway… if I don’t use it, I’ll lose it. Problem is, I think I already have. So I’ll contact him at some point since he specifically ended his communication with ” Anything I can do to help just let me know.”

My weekend is mostly planned to be video game based. I have a tech coming out on Saturday to try to (finally) fix our cable in the bedroom. Other than that, I’m hoping to finish up some of my Arkham Knight trophies and go hardcore with Destiny before The Taken King drops on Tuesday.

Last updated September 11, 2015