i need to. in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.

get out of my situato. except i can’t bc it’s not in my control.to. i don’t want to put w/ amber anymore and i don’t want to give her a chance or any more time to hurt me. more than she already has. and if it were in my control i wouldn’t. probably. maybe. which is what the meeting’s about. well one thing the other thing it’s about is the ebt uhm thing.
no one’s hurting me at my house or at my mom’s. i just need somewhere to stay for a few days while i sort this all out. i’m so fukin worried about me and i never worry about me. or others really unless they’re emotionally fragile. i don’t want to go into a facility bc i don’t want everyone knowing how i feel. how damn fragile i am right now. no i wantneed to stay w/ a friend [i asked evan and he said it’d be ok. but i shouldn’t even ‘have’ to ask he should just offer. but that’s another issue] but that’s unrealistic cause except for mark and well susie my momdoesn’t know my friends. and i don’t want her to. and steph and jenn don’t know my friends either. and in order for me to stay w/ a friend well 1: they’d have to meet that friend and 2: they’d have to know why. and that’s not happening. either i’ll break free. and that would be breaking free. ori’ll break apart like i usually do. which is fine. i say it’s fine exceptit’s not if it worries me this much. i’ll relapse. i won’t eat. i’ll........well w/e it is i’ll do it won’t be good. no my anxiety is that bad. and this is that bad. and if i call one of those hotline things then they’ll send the cops and that’s not happening. see this is why i trust evan. is cause he won’t do that. no w/e i tell him stays between us. always. or us and his mom. anyway.
as gone over i already know what to do about this, so.