A Long Way in Your Face

I think I have come a long way in the past few days.

I have been absolutely buried in essays (one due Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday). I have been going into work at 6am, staying until late. I have handed the last essay in, and am feeling good about that. Had to work late tonight, had dinner with my family last night. I don't know where the last 3 days have gone, but I am glad they went on their way.

I was talking to my friend at work today and saying that I think I am over being shattered at M and Ernie leaving. I don't feel terribly sad about it any more, just a little bit lonely and wishing I was with them. I don't feel happy yet, either, but I guess I am on my way. I wonder how I will feel in a week's time.

I have gotten used to sleeping alone now, although I sleep on M's side of the bed, and my laptop stays propped on the other side, signed into messenger in case he sends me a message (which he won't, because he knows I should be sleeping).

I am still eating pathetically, despite my good intentions. Unfortunately, my gambling from last week has carried over into this week and I am still on a tight budget. I don't mind though, I deserve it, and it's time I adjusted my attitude towards spending money and gave a little more thought to what I spend money on.

Bought my plane tickets to see Dad next week. They were more expensive than I anticipated. The prices had gone up $10 on each ticket since last week, plus charges for a checked bag (absolutely necessary, you only get 10kg carry on and I need to take my laptop with me) plus booking charges. Dad says he will give me $100 towards the tickets, but I suspect he will hand me cash while I am there, so I don't want to count on that money appearing in my bank account this week.

I am putting $400 on M's travel card, once he sends me a number off the card I need to make the transfer. He doesn't need that much, but it's cheaper if he takes out larger sums of money. I also want to make him feel a bit more secure. I know he is extremely anxious about money now that he is over there on his own, and with my income being here. I want to tell him not to worry, that I can sort the finances out, we can afford to support both of us in different countries on my wage, but I know that will only make him more frustrated. He thinks I do not worry enough about things, and he's probably right. I tend to worry about emotional things, and not so much financial and practical things.

I am eating my microwaved frozen dinner. This sucks. I had big plans for a salad for lunch, but my boss seems to think I am anorexic given my recent weight loss. I think it started when I saw him for the first time in 10 days and he said I had lost weight, then he heard me half-complaining to one of the girls about how I have no one to cook for me, so I am eating some weird ass crap. The next day he insisted on buying me a bowl of noodles from the noodle shop, quizzed me about what I had for dinner the previous night, and then asked what I was going to have for dinner out with my family. He has nothing to worry about, so I told him that, and then joked that I was going to order a salad and only eat one lettuce leaf. He is very sweet, but I am okay. I just need to get myself sorted out a bit more.

Well, it got late.