A farewell to Frida in A New Chapter

Today we had to make a very difficult family decision.

One of our dogs, Frida, had to be put to sleep.

She had been dealing with health issues in recent months. It all started out when her stomach started getting bloated. She looked very big and then she stopped eating. Her little bones throughout her body began to show. At first we were told it could be an infection. We were given a some medicine to help her go to the bathroom excessively. She started peeing all the time and eventually she lost that weight. However, she had stopped eating solid food.

Frida was never a picky dog. She was the type of dog that was jumping on your lap during dinner time. She ate everything. My mom would always bring food home from work and Frida always got her fill. From lean chicken breast to cheese pizza, she loved it all. It as quite sad to watch her little body turn down food when she had become so notorious for her appetite.

After the liquid drain tho..she started eating a little. Usually little bites. I went to my parent’s home last week and she was very excited to see me. I gave her a slice of pizza and she ate it up. We were all smiling seeing that she had gained her trademark appetite back.

However, the victory did not last for long.

Today I went over to the house to eat lunch. My dad basically told me flat out that he had bad news. He had taken her to the veterinarian Monday to get some new X-rays since the fluid was gone. It appeared that she had 3 masses. The doctor was very straightforward. They look very bad, we can operate them but it would probably not do much..it would be like throwing your money away. She would just suffer. He sent some samples to get checked and everything pointed at cancerous tumors.

She had been struggling with breathing since one of them was pushing into her lungs. We were asked to make the decision to put her down. We did not mind pooling our money together (afterall, we’re all doing ok right now) but..for what? to extend her life by a few weeks and make her suffer? it would just not be worth it.

When my dad told me this we were about to eat some lunch. I absolutely hate crying in front of people so I was trying my best to hold back the tears. I was fucking furious. I managed to finish the meal and went to the bathroom to let some steam out. The poor thing did not look great, she had lost so much weight that she was always cold now. We called everyone and agreed it was best to take her to the vet and put her down.

The only time she ever got excited was when I took her fro a walk. It was her last one.I allowed her to guide it. I felt a little conscious walking her around considering how boney she looked. I hated the thought of people looking at her and thinking I had abused her. I also had to call work to let them know I was not coming in. I was dreading calling it and hearing that fucker answer the call. Last time I called off due to car problems, he thought it would be ok to make a joke about it. “I dare you to make a joke about my dying dog motherfucker.”

He was understanding and allowed me to take off.

By the time I came back my sister was home. She was a mess. My sister is very high maintenance and usually spends 4 hours in front of the mirror before she leaves. Not today. She was wearing a sweater with sweatpants and a pony tail. no make up. Right off the bat she walked in crying. My mom came in later and it was the same way.

I kept remembering a time I went to see them and I was pissed off. I think it was job or relationship related, I can’t remember. Frida kept coming up to me for play time and I told her to go away. My mom told me to play with her but I was upset. I kept remembering that and boy..did that make me feel like shit.

We all snuggled as a family and petted her until it was time to go. She was struggling to breathe the whole time.

The car ride was terrible. I looked at my phone for a few mins and freaked out. I felt bad because it was time I could have used to play with her instead. I took pictures but avoided her body. I wanted to remember her looking healthy.

Once in there, was when all the feelings poured out.

It was as if she knew. She seemed scared. She had not eaten in days and suddenly started eating everything. She drank a ton of water also. She kept doing that and looking at the door. Almost as if she thought she was in trouble because she did not eat. We all sobbed, nurse included.

We knew it was for the best but it did not make it hurt any less. When we got home, Cuca was not happy. She kept barking and running around the house looking for her buddy. They slept right next to each other. My sister was inconsolable and her boyfriend came over. It as a surprise considering I had been told their relationship was on the rocks. The time to capitalize is now Brad!

I feel better now. I got to come home and relax, have some rum and whiskey.

All dogs have to die someday just like we do..but she was young, only 6.

As an agnostic, I don’t know if there is a heaven..and unless some eternal being from another plane of existence comes forward and shows it to me..I won’t believe anyone tell me otherwise without evidence. I do hope she did not suffer too much and that she can finally rest now.