15-08.26.131 in Book Two: The Fifteenth Year of the Third Millennium of the Common Era

A sore throat and tooth sensitivity kept me from getting much sleep last night. I’m thinking they are all related but… the tooth sensitivity might be its own thing as I think a cavity may be forming. I need to get to a dentist. But then… I also need to get to a doctor about a bunch of things. And yes… I’m like my parents in this regard. I need someone I trust, preferably recommended by friends; and someone I can afford. But around here… or maybe it is an issue with the New Era at large… nobody has recommendations. Even friends who have lived here for thirty or more years are stumped. As if, somehow, they’ve never gone to a GP or a DDS… ask about specific practices… they can go on for days… so, somehow, that’s how it works around here. No diagnosticians or general assistance… only specialists? Weird.

I heard back from two of the jobs I didn’t want. The first one, a solo attorney looking to move and open a bigger firm, e-mailed me a request for an essay in Spanish on why I want the job. Even if I was fluent in Spanish… go fuck yourself. The second job… mergh. It is with a charitable organization looking for a 47 week commitment… they e-mailed me telling me they weren’t looking for lawyers but would love to fit me into the job opening they had… which would pay $12,000. A 47 week commitment to make (basically) what I’m making now? No. Besides… they didn’t offer me anything… they encouraged me to fill out a few more applications to try to get this 47 week 12k gig. And… I’ll be honest. It is tougher than I like saying no to that. Because… work. Because helping people. Because doing something with myself. But… no. I have to say no. HAVE to. Because… if I don’t set my value, then that could be disastrous. I’m not some asshole demanding 80k a year in my first job… but to make less than I did before I went to law school? I can’t do that. For myself or my wife.

Speaking of wife… things are going… okay. She’s been more cuddly lately which is really nice. I’m guessing that it is because she sees how I’m killing myself over this job thing. And… I think she understands why it is hard for me on a lot of different levels. I have a genuine need to be helpful, to be active, to increase and/or use my intelligence. I have a need to be with friends… I’m not always the most social guy but if we’re good friends, then you’d better believe I want to hang out with you! And… probably 90% of those people are in Central or Northern Iowa. So… she gets that this is super hard for me. Unfortunately, her laziness still tends to get the better of her on most things though. Like… we’re jiving better as a couple now… but there are still things around the house that she either cannot or will not help out with. Like food. Apparently, buying real legitimate food and/or preparing it has and will fall completely on my shoulders. So… I need to think of something better and more healthy than “Pizza” on nights where I don’t feel like cooking… like last night for example. Also… I need to find a way to be a stone-face sounding board for Wife on her work issues. Because every time she discusses how much she hates her job or how she desperately doesn’t want to be there for another Christmas Holiday Season… I feel a little more pressure to make something happen in the job world. And (this is satanically awful but true)… Wal Mart is already beginning Christmas Gear Up. Yeah, it’s ridiculous. You probably (hopefully) won’t see shit in stores… but employees and planning and stuff? TOtally starting already. Which sucks. Because… I would love to get Wife out of retail before Christmas. Hell, I worked retail for over 10 years… I know how it kills any enjoyment of the holiday… and with how Wife hates her job to begin with, it RUINS the season for her. But what is worse… our lease is up in November… because we were hoping to be in Iowa before the Holidays. And the thought of her working the holidays… the thought of signing another lease… all of it honestly does make me feel like I’m failing myself and my family.

Work today… was a prime example for how this part-time job that pays (which is why I keep it) acts as a reminder for me about the job search. This happens in various degrees all the time, but I’ll share the specifics of the day as an exemplar.

Standing professionally in my black suit and tie at the bench; the Public Defender double checks to make sure she remembered correctly that I did not start school back up again this week. No, while Creighton is back in session, I received my JD in May of 2014. So the Public Defender asks if I’ve heard back from the bar exam yet. Yes, I learned of my bar passing in April 2015. I’m still in a job primarily given to students because I can’t get work. The judge enters and asks if I’ve started school back up again. No, your honor, I’ve already completed everything and am awaiting job opportunities in Iowa. Then a few cases into the docket today, a former classmate enters the courtroom. A person that received their JD at the same time as I and passed the bar exam at the same time as I. He was there representing a client as he is gainfully employed in a firm. NOW, it is important to note that this particular colleague is the son of one of the Law School Deans… so his connections are not unsubstantial. But it puts a nice bow on everything. Two men of similar age and training; both of whom graduated from law school in 2014… both of whom failed their first attempt at the bar… both of whom passed their second attempt at the bar.... but one is gainfully employed and litigating while the other is languishing in a part time gig that he’s been doing since 2012.

After work, I came home and did a crapton of chores. Full cleaning of the kitchen and bathroom areas, did some errands for Wife, paid some bills. I was productive. But, since I got shit sleep last night… I decided around 4 ish that I was going to take a nap. Could not get past the pain shooting through my left leg. I stretched it, I worked it, and I did some other things in general to my body to try to get the nap going. To no avail. Grumph. I suppose the good news is that means I’m having issues sleeping in general and it isn’t something more specific to Night Sleep or Co-Sleep or any of the other potential issues.

So instead, I decided to read on the patio. Yeah, yeah… “Gee, BatVillains, how did that not make you fall asleep?” Very funny.