Monday Morning in New Diary

I had a terrible night. I couldn’t sleep; Then I was having trouble with bloating. It was painful. I didn’t get to sleep until around 3 am. I had a productive night I read a chapter in my book about John Marshall. Then I watched a couple shows on a PBS channel. But I could not get to sleep.

I made definite decision yesterday. I am going to kill the credit card. I ordered two subs that came to $23.47 I’ swear I am not going to use the card again this month. I’m going to pay it off with my next check Then I am going to kill the cared. I just can’t handle credit cards.

I do have the best fiancé in the world. She came up yesterday and helped me clean the apartment. She ran the sweeper in the bedroom and living room. I really appreciated her doing that. That was why I wanted to buy subs for sup-per last night.

Feel like shit this morning. I am ok with depression. I just feel really tired despite sleeping most of the morning. It is hard to keep on a positive note but I do have many blessings. 1) I am alive. 2) I am in good physical health. 3) I have a wonderful fiancé. 4) I have food to eat and clothes to wear. 5) I have money for meds 6) I have a new hearing aid. 7) I have phone, internet and cable 8) I have a nice apartment 9) I have a wonderful support system at Healthways. Life is pretty good

I really find it helpful to list this blessings. I have a tendency to think that life is pretty bad and things are awful. They help me realize that I have it pretty good and got a lot of things going. It is always good to think positive and think rational. Always remember that thinking causes feelings and if you are having negative thoughts you will have negative feelings. It is always best to keep on the sunny side of life. LIfe is good.