so i've been watching friends lately in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.

online. oh and desperate housewives.

well so i was watching the friends ep. where ross and rachel take a break and they have that fight and the other 4 are in the bedroom. well. and so it hit me. i mean when i was younger i knew there were emotions in tv shows but i didn’t understanding them the way i do now. like oh wow this ep. is sad. and i related to that ep. ya know? well when i watched it recently. [or perhaps you don’t know]. and so it got me thinking. about my ex. actually i was thinking about him prior to that. um. like idk. i haven’t heard from him i’m still too scared to get at him and yet there’s a part of me that wants to get back together w/ him. i mean. i wonder about him ya know? what he’s doing if he’s seeing someone. i’d feel better if he wasn’t cause if he wasn’t that to me says he hasn’t moved on. and that he still loves me. or that he still cares anyway. i don’t know things on his side. when we broke up..........that weekend. the night he left my place...........i told him to be careful. he was understandable upset. that night i go soco at milo’s. and now it’s my go-to dink.
but. maybe i’m better off not knowing. cause if he has um moved on and i know that then i. i won’t like that. so. still wonder though.