Saturday Morning in New Diary

I found this cool website that talks about many of the things I learned in therapy. They were talking about the five irrational beliefs that many people have The most infamous five include:

1 Musterbation : shouldings and demandingness I must succeed and gain approval.
2 Awfulizing: I went off my diet two weeks ago isn’t that just awful.
3 Low Frustration/ tolerance: I can’t quit smoking it would be too hard.
4 rating and blaming I am worthless because I made a mistake :
5 Overgeneralizing Always or never type of attitudes

Website went on to say that rational beliefs reasonable, flexible, and constructive conclusions or inferences about reality that support survival, happiness and healthy result. Rational beliefs support productivity and creativity. Rational beliefs support
healthy relationships.
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Also, always remember the Five Rational Questions: 1 Will belief help me feel the way I want to feel keep me sober, safe and alive? 2 Is belief based on factual evidence. 3) Is thought, belief producing feelings I want to have ?4 Is thought helping me reach my goal? Is thought helping me minimize conflict with others?

Here is the address to the website : http://www.smartrecovery.org/resources/library/Articles_and_Essays/Rational_Thinking/Rational_and_Irrational_Beliefs.pdf

Anyways, I am guilty of having most of these beliefs. I think I am guilty of having all of them. I certainly am guilty of Musterbation. I was never successful at anything., I also get frustrated very easily and I have a tendency to rate and blame . I also overgeneralize. I really need to work on this. ;

Depression has not been too bad. On a scale of one to ten I would rate it as a four. Ok perhaps it is higher than that. I still feel exhausted. Energy level is almost zero. I have not been going out of my apartment. I hate these people in the apartment building and they are not all that crazy about me. They can sense you are down and will pounce on you to make you feel worse. Hell with them Hell with them all.

Enough of that .Remember the positives. 1) I am on top of the dirt. 2) I have a wonderful fiancé 3)I have a roof over my head.4 ) I have clothes to wear.5) I have money for meds 6) I have the support of Healthways and an excellent case manager. 7) I am in good physical health 8) I have phone cable and Internet 9 )have good books to read. Life is pretty good.

9:09am I tried ending my last section on positive note. After I finished writing depression began to rear its ugly head. I woke up feeling pretty good but after I finished my mood dropped considerably. I remember from therapy how a big part of depression is caused by our thoughts. I remember when they were talking about the ABCs of Human emotion. A is an outside event that is beyond our control. B is our thoughts about the event and C is our feelings produced by our thoughts. We can have positive, negative or neutral thoughts about an outsioe event. These thoughts will produce positive, negative or neutral feelings

So whenever I do get depressed I am mindful of what I am thinking at the time. What was I thinking this morning ? It was hard to say. I was thinking all kinds of thoughts this morning. One I am alone and that it is terrible to be alone. Two I am a failure because I need help in taking care of my apartment and myself 3 I am getting old and never amounted to a hill of beans 4 I am getting old and I do not have much longer to live. I think this is the biggest thing that is bothering me These are but some of the shit that has been going through my mind.

They are all irrational thoughts. I know that because thinking these thoughts are definitely not helping me feel the way I want to feel. They are not helping me achieve goals. They are not helping me protect life and health. They are not helping me They are not based on facts or evidence. They are completely irrational. I needed to change these thoughts but that is the hard part.

I at least got to thinking about something else. I picked up my book and began reading. I m reading a very interesting biography about the life of John Marshall. I was reading about how, as a young man, Marshall fought in the Revolutionary War. I love to read about that period in American History. It helps me get my mind focused on other things . I got into my book and then I felt a lot better.

Well I am going back to my book. Remember, life is good. Remember the positives

Last updated July 25, 2015