i'm not your ghost anymore. except he is! in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.

this is from. today actually.:

‘so my former roommate christopher. er housemate I guess. it’s so weird to think that he’s not here. ya know when he first moved out I didn’t think about it. and not just here at the house but he’s not physically here anywhere. cause he’s not. he’s not w/ us anymore. I hear the ghost of what he used to say when he was living here playing in my head. none of it made sense and he wasn’t aware. he’s not like a normal ghost ya know? no I mean. when I think of him as a ghost I don’t think of him the way I do others who’ve passed. if that makes sense. so it’s hard for me to. think that a part of him is still here. but maybe it isn’t I don’t know. everyone has their own. opinion on/of that stuff. he didn’t remember anything. like he was unable to. actually I think it’s more that he wasn;t able to form new memories to begin w/. he couldn’t do anything for himself. and when he got near the end he really couldn’t. in the last 2 wks. apparently. according to what was talked about prior to his moving out.

i’m not connected to him as a ghost. cause he’s a different ghost. and also cause I didn’t really know him. I don’t see a ghost as the white sheet thing from Halloween I see it as the person who left. like in my mind. I don’t actually see them but I know that. they’re there in some form.

and another reason i’m not connected. to that or anything else is cause of my depression which has worsened. well it worsened last wk. [it’s currently Sun. here]. I haven’t connected to anything in so long. but i’m starting to connect to music. I don’t listen to music much anymore which is sad cause I love it. and maybe that’s all that needs to be said about that.

ya know. maybe he’s lucky he wasn’t aware. I mean would you want to know if you were going to.........you know, go. there’s not a right or wrong answer here.’