"ABOUT BEING VENGEFUL" in "WRITER@WORK"

Some say this is many Scorpios’ unfortunate trait. With their temperamental moody side, this is expected. Despite their loyalty to the people they love - like a wolf to their pack - they tend to be very vengeful once they get hurt (especially really badly.) It doesn’t mean that they’re completely unforgiving, though. They usually can still and will forgive you, but that happens after you have suffered a great deal first. It’s all about getting even.

Sounds scary, huh? I know it’s not a good thing. In the long run, you’re still the one being slowly poisoned on the inside. It doesn’t matter that you (always feel that you) are the victim. It doesn’t matter that you (think you) are (always) right and they’re just wrong.

However, I always believe in making choices. We’ve been given the power to think, feel, and decide what to do under different circumstances. We know what’s right and wrong.

Once again, social media is our gallery of expressions. Let’s say and post whatever we like. Worry not about what others think. It’s your timeline after all. It’s the ultimate human rights.

Of course, you also have the rights to choose not to see, watch, and read everything. It’s all in your hands, just a click or so away.

Sometimes you’ve seen enough. You’ve read and known enough. You don’t need to know any more of that. There’s no point in dwelling on the past. It’s time to move on.

It’s up to us whether we’d like to portray ourselves online as ‘humble-brags’ or spill out our brutal honesty and bluntness to the world through social media. It’s never the social media’s fault. The thing is, how many of us are that ready to face the consequences after that?

“Write your bad memories on the sand. Let the ocean waves wash them away. Carve your good ones on the stone, for they’ll be permanent reminders there.”

There’s an interesting chapter in Sean Covey’s “The Seven Habits of Highly-Effective Teens”. A boy keeps a journal which is unlike any other journals - where you write everything in it, good and bad things altogether. He only chooses to write the good ones. He writes about his mother’s laugh, his brother’s hug, his favourite song…anything that makes him feel happy.

Why? It’s simple: that’s how he chooses to stay positive. Those are the memories that he chooses to keep, remember, and cherish. That doesn’t mean he’s living in complete denial. Without neglecting the entire reality, the boy chooses to invest his focus and energy on good things. It gives him happiness.

It also helps him to avoid being so bitter and very vengeful with life. Why? When he reads all his old entries in his journal, he won’t find anything dark and hateful. It’s true that people don’t always get on with each other, even with their loved ones like friends, family, and partner. Remembering their good qualities as people is one way.

That’s what the boy does. When he looks back through his journal, he only sees (and remembers) all the good things about the people he loves in life. That helps him to be more forgiving.

Being vengeful isn’t just about physically destroying the lives of the people who have hurt you in the past, especially right on the spot. It’s also about making their lives a living hell by online bullying and spreading nasty rumours to others. It’s about making sure that the whole world never forgets about the whole forsaken thing.

It’s also about wishing bad things to happen to them.

Imagine that your prayers were answered and they suffered. Would you be happier? Would that satisfy you? Would that make you feel better?

Would that make you a better person?

Nothing good ever comes out of being vengeful, no matter how badly you (think) you’ve been hurt or wronged. You get nothing but lethal poison deep in your heart and soul. Believe in God and He shall keep you feeling whole. Have faith in Him.

We all want to move on. Nobody wants to be (constantly) reminded of their faults in the past. Doesn’t everyone deserve a second chance, now and then - while they’re still alive? Don’t you want that too - or do you just love playing God? Isn’t God The Most Forgiving and Merciful?

You can’t keep expecting others to fix your past, just because you’re so unhappy with your life. Well, good luck with that. Keep doing what you do, until people finally find a way to completely move on…

…without you…

Happiness exists if you choose to feel it. It should always start from within. You can’t control other people, but you always know what to do with yourself first.

If you ask me, I don’t ever want to be such an unhappy person anymore. I need to be much better than that. I need to be happy and I deserve it.

May all wretched hearts and and souls be softened by Ramadan and Eid-ul Fitr - God’s Forgiveness and Mercy. Aameen…

R.

(For DAD - who had bought me the book mentioned in this piece)