Part 3 in Random Thoughts

I decided to write another entry, i imagine if anyone is actually reading this, they are not interested in super long entries.

strong text Edit, part 3

Its 7:15 the next morning and i woke bright and early at 5:00 this morning. That’s even earlier than my wake up call during the school year. The birds were active and i love sleeping with the window open, so i could not deny a call to get up. I have been starting each day with a 2-3 mile walk, while listening to podcasts. This is what puts me here, early, about to reflect on last night’s meanderings.

So, i started with talking about Dios in a positive light. There are definitely some challenges, as well. He can be moody and takes a really low dose of psych meds for bi polar disorder. That sounds intense, i know. Nothing i have experienced with him, previously in 2011 when we dated or now, sends red flags in a depressive or manic way. He also has anxiety and paranoia (to a small extent).

He also has this strange… i don’t know how to say it.... relationship with communication. I don’t know if i will do justice in getting it into words. Dios feels he has spent a lot of his life being misunderstood- not in a misanthropic or woe is me kind of way- but in a literal, people do not understand what he is saying or misinterpret his words/meanings. This has gotten us into a few discussions. Fortunately, i have learned to ask him to clarify.

There are a few layers with this- He is a low talker. He smokes a lot of pot. I think a result of that constant haze is that maybe he is not as clear in his communication as he thinks he is.... in his mind he is saying a particular thing, when in reality what comes out does not always parallel. I tend to think that if something in my life keeps coming up as an issue, then perhaps its me and not everyone else. I don’t think he has come to that realization and maybe i am off base with that observation.

Once laundry is done and i clean up the house a bit, i am going to head north to Seattle. I have a couple gifts to give my brother and his new wife. Also, they invited me to see a production of Grease at the 5th Ave Theater in downtown Seattle. It is an amazing Art Deco era theater i have been to once; in 1999 or 2000 i had the distinct pleasure and honor to see Tom Waits in concert. At the time i was working at a coffee shop and getting decent tips ($20-$40/day), so my co-worker and i found some scalped tickets (they sold out almost immediately) and spent an insane amt of money (for the time) for tickets in the first few rows. What an amazing experience it was! I get to see an old friend of mine (i hope) this evening- we keep calling one another when we are in each other’s respective towns, but have not been able to get together in over a year.

Ok, i’ve run out of interest in writing here. I have a private entry to get to.

Last updated July 10, 2015