Working on it? in Book Two: The Fifteenth Year of the Third Millennium of the Common Era

Notes I’ve left myself to put up here as I do PB on Phone and Tablet:

(1) After a whirlwind of activity at the family reunion… I forgot how dull and frustrating real life was. Friggin’ stupid.

(2) Accidentally had a few fantasies about my work crush lately. A work crush that bikes and mountain climbs constantly… is politically involved… I know that, even if I were single, nothing would happen between us but… if I had met her when I was single, I can assure you that she would have strongly influenced what My Ideal Partner was conceptualized as.

(3) Speaking of… as I was quietly sitting at my desk at work, I could hear a faint sound so I approached slowly… it was Work Crush singing along and rocking out to the Proclaimers . Awesome.

(4) Apparently, it only takes a few days at Wal Mart for Status Quo to come horrifyingly back into the picture. Wife came home extraordinarily pissed off… because of two customers. Two customers was enough to make her rage shout and frustrated cry for three hours. And when she was done? She went to read her book. Okay. I’m super used to her not asking about my day or displaying interest in how I am. So I started doing a Puzzle Game on the PS4. But apparently, Wife wanted to talk(?) to her book and every time the book was interesting shout/read me the passage she was on. Despite the fact that some of the puzzles I was working on were sound based. And I understand. Wal Mart is evil. Wife is shitty at dealing with people. Wife has emotional issues. Combine all of that and shit is going to hit the fan constantly… but it is certainly difficult to live with.

(5) Thinking of that, though, here is a dick thing to think but has most certainly been popping up considerably....back when I was considering seriously going after Aoife… a decision that, sadly, still plagues me to this day… one of the things I told myself over and over again as to why I shouldn’t chase after her… is that her own mental instabilities would inevitably over shadow all aspects of the relationship. Her anorexia, her depression, her anxiety, her deep-seated hatred of her abusive mother, her rocky (at best) sexual history… all of these things would have inevitably overshadowed the relationship and been a constant threat to our happiness. Uhm. Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony. However, in my modern situation… gone is much of what I most valued in Aoife… but the relationship being overshadowed and a constant threat to happiness, longevity, and peace? Remains.