now that's Texas in 2015

10:27pm

I don’t want to leave here. Please don’t make me. =|

Today was my last free day in town. Tomorrow I’ll be busy packing, trying to remember to print my plane ticket, finding directions to airports, and coordinating schedules. Oh, and drinking all the beer that’s left in the fridge. :-) That should at least make me feel better.

Speaking of drinking, real quick: I think maybe when I get home I’m going to try to cut back again. It’s not really fun to drink at this point. I don’t even get a buzz anymore. Like I can drink a ton of beer, or I can have three or four drinks and nothing. It’s not like I make baby drinks either. Pretty sure I over-pour every single one of them, which I’m guessing has helped to build my tolerance. But kinda taken away the fun when I want a quick escape.

I figure if I quit drinking every single night then maybe I’ll feel something when I do. Although, I’m debating whether wanting that is a good or bad thing. hah. It’s probably best, in general, that I ease up on the drinking anyway. My liver certainly would appreciate a break and maybe my gut too. We’ll see though. I don’t want to make it a thing because then everyone starts to wonder why I’m not drinking and try to peer pressure me. Thanks friends. So I’ll just wing it and see how it goes.

Anyway, I’m getting ready to wrap things up around here. I guess my brother and I are starting to get on each other’s nerves already. We’re pretty good at doing that after a couple weeks. He always wants to be top-dog and I hate people telling me what to do and/or when I’m “wrong”, so that definitely causes a riff or two.

If I had my own place to stay out here I’m sure I’d be staying a lot longer. I mean, I’m super bummed about the severe lack of cowboys in Texas, but I’m sure my hopes are always up too high on that front. =\ I’ll just have to head back to my small town in California and wait for all the pickup trucks to gather at the fair grounds. You’re guaranteed to see at least a dozen cowboy hats in that crowd. Probably several dozen. ha.

We spent the day at my cousin’s house today. Mostly in the backyard in her pool. It really helped turn around my thoughts on this place. It was never supposed to be constant rain/thunderstorms and all that. It was supposed to be days like today where the sun is shining, there’s a cool enough breeze blowing, the water in the pool is warm, and your family is having a great time. I managed a decent tan [some redness, but that should be gone by tomorrow] and a super relaxing time just hanging by the water. I actually spent a lot of time in the water too.

She has these waterfall things on the side that produce that amazing dropping water sound that makes you want to lay out and take a nap. Plus the weather was warm and swimming around makes you all kinds of tired.

I had such a great time! I feel so relaxed and carefree. It was totally wonderful and I’m glad I got to spend this last free day there. I couldn’t have asked for much better than that!

Now I’m back at the apartment, kicking back, listening to some concerts on TV [Kenny Chesney followed by Dierks Bentley], drinking aforementioned beer and semi-dreading this whole return home. I know I have to go back. I have a ton of work to do. But I like it here. The lack of any real responsibility is such a nice change of pace. Even if that does make me sound like a spoiled kid. Who really wants to be an adult these days?!

I need to go home and set up my own rules. It’s easy to fall into bad habits because I live with my mother and it’s hard to say no to her. I feel like I need to do that though. At least sometimes. Because I don’t really need to eat every time she does and I don’t need to do every single thing with her. She can survive without me for a few hours [or weeks in this case] and I want to work on myself for a while. Establish the kinds of routines that I’d have if I were out on my own.

We’ll see how that goes though. I’m not very good at being selfish, even if I pretend I am. Darn that catholic guilt! ;-)

Time to finish my drink and prepare for bed. I haven’t really gotten the insane amounts of sleep that I’d hoped for. Such is life, I guess.

rose.
10:49pm

Last updated July 11, 2015