Life in Riverdale

Life
So my life can be pretty good sometimes
I created it
I got help here and there
But I created my life
I designed it and I make it and live it
I live on my own my cat
Big place
Security and safety mostly
Adventure drama excitement
Tears blood sweat
I’ve been through so much
And I keep going through it all
Sometimes I get so discouraged because I feel scared and overwhelmed but I try to remind myself
I am strong
I have survived
I am smart
And I have the strength to seperate from Liban
I can do it
I don’t need him
I don’t know if I even want him
I am getting sick of him
But there’s still some stuff lingering there
But that one woman really planted a seed
A mantra
I am strong enough to seperate from Liban
From his drama
His pain
His jealousy
Anger
Bullshit
Abuse
Inconsistency
Games
Control
Power
Mystery
I am just so sick of the energy I waste on thinking of him
Dreaming of him
Wanting him
Mourning him
Missing him
Hating him
Loving him
Just so much wasted energy to someone who can’t love me back
I have no clue what’s going on with him In his intentions
His mind
No fucking clue
It hurts too much sometimes
It angers me too much
Drains the life out of me
I am going to start school soon
I am excited nervous
Looking forward to hopefully a new chapter in my life
New people
New opportunities
New life
New energy
And more strength to leave him behind
I want to reinvent myself sort of
Not too much
But just be someone different than who I’ve been this past few years living here
Someone more focused
Happy
Successful passionate
For myself
Not so much for others who don’t give a shit and hurt me
I’m tired of caring about them
It’s so hard still
But I hope to be immersed in peace
Passion
Drive
And purpose