"THE GHOST OF HIM" in "RESTLESS: POETICALLY-SPEAKING"

I felt the ghost of him this morning,
as I responded angrily to some nasty comments
Bullies are everywhere
They’re always there

I’m sure you’ve sensed the ghost of him too
all from the words I used
I am your most distinctive reminder
of someone you’ll miss forever

“Why did you have to be so angry?”
I’m sure that’s what she’d wanted to say
“You sound so much like him,
always have to have the last words with everybody.”

“But Mummy, I’m not afraid,”
I calmly said.
“Because I know damn well that I’m right,
so that’s why I’m willing to fight.
It shouldn’t matter that I’m just a girl.
I’m not supposed to be easily intimidated, remember?”

I guess I’ll always be this way
I know I shouldn’t let any sexist pigs ruin my day
Just another pathetic man with a big, fat mouth
voicing out his opinions too loud
about how all boys should be tough
unlike weakling girls, cry-babies dying for love

Really?
I suppose he refuses to look in the mirror
about his real life full of pity
and how he always seeks for mercy
from the women of his life more powerful than he
a superhero ‘wannabe’

Thanks, Dad
You’d taught me a lot about self-respect
and I won’t let any of them bully me to make up for what they lack

R.

(Jakarta, 2/7/2015 – 11:35 am)