A Surreal Scare and an Indulgence in Everyday Ramblings

This is a detail on the garage of a house around the corner. The house was built for one woman and then the house next door, which is almost identical, were occupied at one point by a woman in one and her sister and their families in another. This is the first one built in 1880 for a Mrs. Jane Hart. The current owner has done a very effective job of modifying it to modern standards while keeping the original ornamentation. The second one was built in 1908.

The incredible heat continues. It has been a couple of weeks since we have had any measurable rainfall. I am waiting for the sun to go behind the hills to the west before I go out again.

I have had migraines pretty consistently since I was 17 but today I had my first ever ocular-migraine and it scared the heck out of me, as at the time I had no idea what was happening. All of a sudden I felt this wave of fatigue and nausea and then I started to lose the sight in my right eye. First it was a circular blind spot and then my vision started to fade in that eye and my left eye got really blurry.

I had a true sense of what my sister was going through, as her macular degeneration got worse. I was in the office too, which made the whole thing surreal. The lighting in there leaves a lot to be desired and I was trying to concentrate hard on solving a problem with much distraction all around me and all of a sudden I got this super light sensitivity and could see it bouncing off all these surfaces and then it was like my brain got wonky from the light trigger and then…

It was close to lunchtime so I abandoned ship early and was worried all squinty eyed as I listed my way home. By the time I fed the cats their noon snack it had started to resolve and by the time I went back it was gone. It was three hours later before the migraine proper came on. Now I know, I’ll take some medicine right away. Apparently it is a blood flow issue.

Now after I have taken my meds I am just dealing with the aftermath of it all. I am most grateful it was just an episode and was over quickly.

I made an appointment to see Dr. Bob late next week, the evening of the day I have the MRI. He is healing well and can mostly get around without a cane. I am curious and interested in what this highly intuitive healer has to say about what is going on with me.

This was the third week in a row that I had no one actually make it to my Caregiver class. There is interest but there seems to always be extenuating circumstances. I can’t log teaching hours with no students and try as I might it is hard for me not to experience this pattern of thinking that questions how I am handling the in room visits to the patients and their parents beforehand. My coordinator thinks it is a fluke and wants me to hang in there so I will. It is a good practice in acceptance.

I am also going to try reframing the way I tell the caregivers about what to expect and why it might be good for them. And let the rest go.

On a more upbeat note I splurged in an indulgence and bought a new bath rug. It is thick and lovely and pea pod green. I agonized over the color. Color is so ridiculously important to me.

Color and light and love. Oh yeah.

Tomorrow is a holiday! It will be fun. The goofy play monster cats will see to that.

Last updated July 03, 2015