How they proposed back in the OLD days in QUOTIDIEN

...as I shared it withmybaby sister, Melanie.

"We were eating breakfast at his mother's - he in his tightie-whities and me in my gown. His friend (God, what was his name), the guy who chewed tobacco and would carry around a beer can to spit in, knocked and immediately walked into the kitchen, grunting, 'So ptoo, snork, didja ask her'"

My sister was beside herself, laughing her ass off, unable to wrap her mind around such romance.

"But wait...it gets better. So we went to the little white church 'down yonder' and were married in a 10 minute ceremony by a 'Brother' who wore a bad fitting, dark brown polyester suit and deep, purple shirt. While he performed the ceremony, he kept playing with the change in his pocket......we hope. The guy messed my name up so bad, it's entirely possible we're not really married."

Poor Mel. She was having trouble breathing, she was laughing so hard. Then taking control, she gasped, "Oh...that's awful" before letting the laughter take over again.

"At the reception of cake, punch and peanuts, attended by about 15 people I didn't know, the preacher stood with honey on his one side, and me on his other and declared, 'LET ME BE THE FIRST MAN TO COME BETWEEN YOU!'"

Shocked silence at the other end.

"Oh Mel...don't worry. It's what we y'all call a THEME wedding in Kintucky!"

I think she peed her pants.