oh wow. hair and i just. wow. in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.

this is from june22nd:

‘um so I just washed my hair like. 10 mins. ago. which you know. in and of itself isn’t that big a thing.

well I washed it in front of jenn. the other thing I like about her is she stays quiet. like she won’t say anything while i’m. brushing my teeth in front of her. whereas steph will. it went better washing my hair in front of jenn instead of steph but it was still upsetting to me. it went from a 10 to a 9. when I washed it in front of steph it was a 10. it was incredibly upsetting. and so therefore I didn’t want to do it again.

I didn’t. like react to being upset. I just had flashbacks and body memories. which of course isn’t good either. I went. somewhere while I was brushing my hair in front of jenn. places I went places. I went to. 2 yrs. ago. when he and I were in my living room [well actually it’s been...........2.5 yrs. since]. and he. you know. he did ‘that’. I won’t detail. i’m still upset about it but idk that my detailing would help anyone, so.
and then. I reminded myself where I was. I used. sensory things to do that. the toothbrush holder. the cabinet that’s to the left of the sink. that kindof thing.’