i feel. almost relieved in a way in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.

‘not that he went. but, when Christopher was living at my house. there was a time when I was subjected to his verbal abuse. even though it wasn’t towards me. I had the option of moving but I chose not to bc. I didn’t want more people involved than there already were. and I really regret that.

i’m not relieved [well ok not entirely. I mean it’s still sad the guy was 30. that’s not that much older than me. my friend - evan - just turned 30 the 21st. in a way Christopher outlived me. but that’s not for this entry] he’s gone. i’m just relieved that. he’s not here to subject me or anyone else to that abuse. even if it’s not directed towards them.

and I almost kindof hate to say i’m relieved about this. in our society [well in the states anyway] we’re taught we’re not supposed to feel relieved about things like this.