as long as it's rational in 2015

10:30pm

Work is insane right now. Well, not “right now”, but this week. I sorta figured it would end up that way. I’ve definitely reached the stage where I’m running on autopilot, half zombie like through the day, and just desperately hoping I don’t forget to write things down.

I’m constantly answering phones, talking to clients, etc that it’s easy to lose track of things. It’s easy to put paperwork in the back cabinet and then completely forget it’s there. I really need to put a to-do list together because we’re running out of time and need to make sure that we fit everyone in. I’ll probably spend the morning tomorrow putting together said lists, as well as making phone calls to set appointments [so at least we have the space set aside for them], and prioritizing what needs to get done. That’s the only way I’m going to make it through this.

Today was an interesting day. A lot of people came by that I wasn’t expecting. Like the young guys around my age kinda people and that always sorta throws me off. I’m so horrible at making friends and I never go out and I always sorta imagine what it would be like to hang out with people like them. One guy is going on like a month long trip to Hong Kong and various other locations. I’m a bit envious but I know my time will come.

JR came by. Well first he called to see if we needed anything. In the last week, or so, he’s had lunch with us twice. The first time we were doing his paperwork only to realize it was after 3 and we hadn’t had lunch. He went to pick it up for us and then we invited him to eat instead of leaving. A couple days later we were randomly talking about Taco Bell and after a while he took off saying he’d be back later. That’s not unusual for him so I thought nothing of it. Then he came back with a couple of tacos for us to try. He’d gotten food for himself so of course we told him to come to the back to eat. It’s not like we’d send him home to eat by himself.

So today he called and I joked about not having time to sit in the back and chat over lunch today. Plus he was supposed to make a pretty important payment. He hasn’t been able to come up with the money so I asked if he’d had good news or bad news. He started telling me about how every day was good news and how he’s been trying to look at the bright side of things. Apparently saying that I’d taught him that. And it was hard to tell if he was joking but he said he’d give me credit for that and I took that as a huge thing. Because I mean, I’m not the brightest person in the world, in terms of rainbows and butterflies, but I am trying to get a lot better at it and it’s kinda nice to see that it’s enough to rub off on people.

Later, when he’d walked into the office, he ran into another guy he knew in the waiting area [the one going on the long trip] and he started telling him about how we do everything for him. Handling all his paperwork and all that. It sounded like he was praising us, up until like the point where I heard him say something about how I like to “crack the whip” and I cut him off to ask why he was talking trash about me. haha.

He really does seem grateful though. And I know we’ve done some things, helped him out in certain ways, but I’m just doing my job. After we got some very important stuff taken care of today, on a whim even though I was super busy, he thanked me about a dozen times. I told him about how that’s what I was supposed to do but he continued to thank me anyway.

I get the feeling that maybe we helped to pull him out of that hole after his life sorta fell apart and I’m happy to have helped. But you all know me, and you know I’ll over think this, and I really just want to make sure that he doesn’t begin to confuse those feelings with other less rational ones.

We have this professional thing going, and maybe I’d be willing to even go so far as saying we’d be friends, but I’ve already stepped over that line once recently and I’m not trying to do that again.

Speaking of which, I’ve been feeling pretty good about it lately. Maybe it’s because I’m distracted, or maybe I’m just finally moving away from it. It’s taken up a big part of my life and it’s interesting to sorta watch it slip away. Where you think the thoughts and they don’t quite mean what they once did. I don’t know, but I guess that’s a good thing.

Now I’m off to bed because instead of getting an extra hour of sleep I decided to stay up listening to music. I really did need this distraction [thank you new Death Cab!] to ease my mind. It’s been running on complete overdrive.

rose.
10:55pm

Last updated June 11, 2015