Humbled (x-post from Post-Transfer) in A Life Uncommon

At the risk of outing other journalists or whatnot, I will attempt to tell you a story without identifying anyone specifically.

I realize I don't say it often in my journals, but I am actually friends "for realzies" with a few others who write (OD, LiveJournal, blogging). We are all in a quaint community group on Facebook, and have spent the last few years really bonding over random things. All of us have really formed quite amazing relationships and friendships. It's more like a sisterhood at this point, because we are all there for each other.

There is one diarist (who to my knowledge did not travel over to PB yet) that I feel a bond with over various reasons. Our toddlers are the same age (Her youngest, my middle). We both have slightly older "husbands", we both cloth diaper, we both suffer from some mental ~stuff~, etc etc. She opened up her blog with me, and we've accomplished some pretty awesome goals with it. This friend is someone I am proud to say is my friend, and someone I wish desperately lived closer to me.

I even became very close with her husband. His wit is unmatched! He is an amazing husband and father, and truly one of the greatest people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting.

Her husband was diagnosed with colon cancer, but went into remission. Our facebook group rallied together and raised money for a CT scan to see about a J-pouch, so that they could move on with their lives and reverse the colostomy bag that had been placed. Things were looking really awesome for this family.

And then life said f*ck you, and the cancer returned.

When things first started turning badly, I opened a GoFundMe account. My friend's husband was getting more and more sick, and losing money from missing work. My friend is a WAHM, she makes diapers. She combats her own severe agoraphobia, so to just say "GO GET A JOB" is a little heartless and difficult.

We raised nearly $1000, and things calmed down.

Over the last few months, however, it became apparent that the 1-2 years her husband was given was on the long side of the estimate. He is increasingly ill, and struggling. The cancer is spreading rapidly. A tumor closed off his stomach, so they did a surgery to reroute things. I..I could really just lay out the cascade, but it's heartbreaking details and side tracking.

I am not sure how many of you readers are familiar with the struggles you endure when you watch someone you care about (dare I say love?) quickly deteriorate. And I am not sure I can eloquently describe the horror in my voice as we discussed what was coming, and how very urgent the situation had become.

My friend's husband obviously had to stop working, depending on a limited income. The bills were mounting - not just from the obvious rent and utilities but also from all of the various cancer treatments. Some hospitals had covered some of the payments, but there is still a rather large mountain to overcome. While my friend's husband bounced back and forth from the hospital to home, they also became homeless mometarily. At a time when support was needed the most, our group felt like all the family had.

My friends and I have put together various fundraisers, and have also pooled money between us. We paid for a photographer to quickly come out for a family photo shoot, which might seem frivolous but was immediately pressing. What I haven't said yet is that my friend and her husband have two young boys, aged 4 and 2. And they are about to lose their father. And my friend is about to lose her husband. And these photos might be what helps them through.

Two days ago my friend called me in tears, telling me that her husband had once again been taken to the hospital and things just felt very, very bad. We talked for a good while, and my heart broke knowing I am too far away to hug her. I am too far away to hold her and tell her I am there. I am too far away - and I feel very helpless.

(I am crying now, so I am sorry for any typing errors. I am trying to maintain some sense here.)

Yesterday it was announced that the cancer is everywhere, and that there is fluid on his lungs and a clot in his belly. Their time with this great man is very, very limited now. A month or two further is all the doctors can say. A month or two, from the man who bought his wife chickens because suddenly chickens seemed like an awesome idea. A month or two left for the man who calls me Bedazzled and praises his wife's cloth diaper making skills as if she molds gold. A month or two.

Yesterday was very somber and hard for me, as a friend. I can only imagine the emotions and struggles my friend is feeling right now.

Last night as we sat in bed, there was a post in my group on Facebook from my friend, with a proof from the photoshoot that occurred earlier this week. And it is the most beautiful photo, one that I am so very thankful we pushed to get. He's even smiling a little, and he's rocking some serious Wolverine chops that are befitting with his personality.

I sat and cried for a long time viewing that photo, and realizing how very humble I am. How very thankful I need to be, for every breath I ever take. For every moment I get to spend with my children. For every night I get to spend with my spouse.

Those moments are ending soon for my friend and her family. Entirely too soon.

Below are the links to the GoFundMe page (which donates directly to the family, no need to purchase anything), and also to the Facebook page my friends and I have set up to host various support fundraisers and updates. You don't have to view or follow or donate, but if you do, I thank you from the bottom of my heart (and will again in your thank-you note that I write).

www.gofundme.com/HelpTheFlowersFamily www.facebook.com/HelpTheFlowersFamily