music. and Pat. in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.

so on that note. the one about my friends who’ve passed. I’ve been thinking about Pat recently. I think about him a lot. like daily in fact.
ya know. it makes sense he went on karaoke night cause of how much he loved music. he loved it more than I did. do. I can’t think of a time more fitting for him to have passed. ya know it’s like in RENT when they say something about how it makes sense Angel died on halloween. s/he loved Halloween. ya know and it’s like when Pat died the music left w/ him. er no. I mean. he passed it on to us. it took me. a yr. after his passing to be able to sing as well as I can now. I used to be a belter. and I mean people liked it. but i’m much better at singing now. now I focus more on my emotions and I think of something in my life the song relates to reminds me of. I haven’t been to karaoke in. well it’s been far too long it seems. I like to think Pat would be appeased by my change in singing.
when my maternal grandmother passed which was I think 4 yrs. ago end of this month. I didn’t listen to music for 2 wks. it was weird listening to it again. but when Pat passed that’s all I did. [well not ‘all’ I did but you know what I mean]. in fact the first time I found out I was at karaoke. and then that fri. when I found out again I. they have bands every fri. at the bar. and we went to another bar and had karaoke there.
and then. I moved in w/ people. and I didn’t listen to music as much. cause I moved in w/ people.