you like me. cool. you don't that's ok too. in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.

yes more on this.

ya know. usually i’m a pathological people pleaser. due to my past. i’m still trying to please them even though they’re not a part of my life anymore and haven’t been for a long time. it’s weird. it’s like. there’s been a ghost, as it were. the ghost of them is still. w/ me. i could. let that ‘ghost’ go. somewhere else. completely just. let it go to the other side as they say. but idinno.
i’m inviting my past into my present and i have been for a long time. but we wouldn’t have the present w/o yesterday. ya know?
i’m not trying [well it’s not trying if you’ve already succeeded. you either do or you don’t there’s not a try involved here] to please the people who already like me. no. dr. dumke and i talked about this. and we got somewhere. i got to a better place w/ it. and now i don’t remember what happened. dangit. and since ‘they’ [i cell them the current people] already like me well. there’s not really any point to trying to make them like me.
but now. well w/ steph anyway. i don’t really care if she likes me. nor do i care if she’s happy really. and if i did things to appease her and she liked me then. she’d be happy. and ican’t stand her when she’s happy. well. i’m not big on her in general. but um. um....................so in a weird way her not liking me. and my whole thing of i don’t really care if she likes me. is good forme. [although she’s not too big a fan of my not pleasing her].