Face Value in The Stuff That's Not Interesting But Is The Most Interesting Stuff I'll Write
- May 16, 2015, 2:51 a.m.
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- Public
I had actually recorded a video blog to post, it took me eight tries and I even uploaded it to YouTube, but the events of the night rendered the entire video moot.
I went out on Thursday as is my routine and found myself in a rather strange situation. Since coming back up North, I’ve had to run into quite a few faces from my past that I’m not sure that I ever wanted to see. Typically these are people I don’t want to see because I’m a douche-bag who finds stupid reasons to dislike someone.
This time it was nothing more than being thrown in a situation with a person whom I’d rather had seen in any situation other than the one in which we found ourselves.
I ran into my friend Dave. Dave and I have a long and storied history together that is too long to go into, but I can succinctly sum it up in one sentence: Dave and I both were dealing with our blossoming homosexuality at church at the same time, fifteen years later, I am where I am and he, having completed conversion therapy, is now married with two children.
Now you can see why I really wasn’t too thrilled seeing him in a gay bar.
As he’s moved into his career, he’s become an important figure in the California Republican Party (doesn’t it just get more and more amusing?). Apparently, Dave and his friend had just come from some Assembly-person’s fundraiser, and they wanted to have a quick drink before they headed home.
The truth is, I didn’t get much information out of Dave but there were a few things he did that definitely raised some red flags in my mind. He was too busy pressing me for information about a story I’d raised up. Dave had contacted me before I left Southern California to see if I had any connections in booking a hotel in Los Angeles. As it happens, Richard works for the Roosevelt in Hollywood.
Dave had met Richard when we had first become friends back in 2004 and remembered him. In fact, as I recall, Dave was desperately trying to bring Richard to the Lord back then. Anyways, I told him a Reader’s Digest version of our history and then I relayed to him the events that had happened on the same weekend that he contacted me regarding the room: Richard and I confessed our love.
I even updated him on things that have happened since, things I haven’t written on here.
Since I’ve left, my relationship with Richard has been a little strained. Frankly, it’s never been that way between us and I couldn’t figure out how it had gotten the way it had. Our conversations were a little combative. He was taking my sarcasm at face-value and not seeing the humor in the things I said, something that had never happened before. There was anger and there was tension.
Then he called me one day. He’d broken up with his boyfriend who was holding all of his stuff for ransom and staying with a friend in Echo Park. The weight of the infidelity had finally lifted and we were back to being us, albeit with this strange dimension of space between us that no longer has anything to do with the 500 miles apart we are.
As Dave listened to the story, I could see that there was no judgment, nothing but serious concern for my well-being and the relationship I shared with Richard. Say what you will about Dave but he has never been anything but sincere to me… which has admittedly caused some tensions between us.
Just as quickly as Dave disappeared so he vanished. I could tell throughout the encounter that he was genuinely excited to see me, which is something I haven’t seen too often since my return. Sometimes you have to take things at face-value.
You know, I’ve never looked at that phrase before. I think there is much value in a face and that real value can be through that connection. I have to remember not to discount someone just because my history with them is complicated. I have a real fear of complications.
I just sent Richard a message reminding him that I loved him. He replied in all caps, “I LOVE YOU TOO!!!!”
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