therapy in Depression

I have to go to my 2nd counselling session tomorrow ( well second with this person) and the thought of it is making me extremely depressed and anxious. I really don’t want to have to talk to this woman. She wasn’t very nice the first time so I haven’t gotten the best first impression of her. She was kind of blunt and almost aggressive in a way. I wish these people had decided to let me have the nurse who visits you at home to talk. That would’ve made me a lot less anxious than having to also make my way to this place. Which by the way is one of the grimmest places I’ve ever been into. There’s just nothing on the walls, the room was small and dark and I just found it depressing. It’s taking everything I have in me not to cancel. Not just because I ‘don’t feel like it’ but I’ve also got an awful cold and think I’m losing my voice a bit, and I have cramps. I also have been in a horrible place the past week, which I know should make me want to talk to her, but it just makes me want to sleep. I’m back to that point where all I want to do is sleep. But no one is letting me no matter how much I want to.

I’m gonna go to bed. Hopefully I’ll go tomorrow, I know it’s for the best but I’d rather do anything else. I might cancel. Or I might be an ass and just not show up, say I forgot or something. Or got the times wrong. I should just call them but a) I don’t know where to even call and b) phone calls give me awful anxiety. I can barely call my mum like let alone to change an appointment.

I better go, it’s late. I’ll talk about the breakup soon