I Blew it Yesterday in New Diary

. I was very upset yesterday because I couldn’t access my books. I was obsessing over them. I was also obsessing about buying a NOOK next month. I kept thinking about it and thinking about it I was worried about the cost. I was worried about how
I was going to set it up without having Wi Fi in my home. I kept thinking about how I was going to manage getting through next month with all these payments

Yes I was very angry, upset and very depressed. I wasn’t in a very good mood and I
am afraid I acted like a complete jerk with my fiancé yesterday. She had it out with me after supper last night. We had a very bad fight .She had every right to be mad
with me and that didn’t make me feel that much better. I can’t believe I can be such
a jerk at times .

I mean here I am 64 years old. I am worried about having a computer and stupid books. I am down tio two pairs of pants. I should be investing in clothes for myself I should be trying to save some money. AS my fiancé said there is more to life than just books. She is right There is more to life than just books

But reading is very important to me. I have a variety of mental health issues. Reading provides an outlet. I get lost in a good book and I forget about my problems. I am not having unwanted thoughts. Reading helps me in so many ways
and I actually try to learn something to booty. For me books and reading are the best therapy around Books have always been my drug off choice.

One might ask why not just go to the library? We have a very nice library here in Weirton. Problem is I have trouble accessing it. I don’t have a car and it is hard for me to walk. Besides that I have a hard time leaving my apartment a lot of times. I don’t like being around other people. I’m not a very social person. That is part of my
mental illness.

What I liked about B&N was that I could go to their website. It is a virtual books store that never closes. I could pick out a book buy it and download it on my computer. I could start reading it in seconds without having to leave my apartment That technology always fascinated me Now it is out of my reach. I will miss that Oh well there is more to life than just books