second window, please pull ahead in poetry

I’m firmly against the death penalty
but I must admit
if Fast Food Line Indecision were made a capital offense
I’d be open to it.

It’s a goddamned Burger King.
It’s a goddamned Burger King in Herkimer New York at midnight.
Second window, please pull ahead.
You have been here fifteen times
there are not that many choices to make.
You can have nearly-food with fake grill marks
or fried discrete starch packets with salt
or nearly-food with fake grill marks and limp bacon
or nearly-food with fake grill marks and processed cheese.
There is not a fucking filet mignon on the hidden menu.
There is not hummus and tabouli if you squint.
Second window, please pull ahead.

We are not here for good food
or real food
or complicated food.
We were here to get awful things quickly
for relatively cheap
that sates an easily fooled caveman in our collective tummy
that just tastes fat and sodium and thinks
“THIS WILL LAST ME THROUGH THE NEXT HUNT”.
You aren’t fooling anyone by sitting for seven minutes at the speaker.
We’re two songs into this fucking Led Zepplin rock-block, lady.
There is no reason to not know exactly
what horrors you got yourself into here.
Second window, please pull ahead.

You can’t talk yourself into getting something healthy now.
You are pot-committed as they say in poker, ma’am.
Order your fucking Triple Whopper, hold the veggies, extra-mayo
and move the chains.
There are other people trying to poison themselves too.
Let us wallow in our crapulence as well.
Let us get it over with.

The whole point of fast food is
to do it quickly so you can minimize the regret.
It is a dirty last-call one-night-stand with terrible food
and we don’t wanna find that wrapper in our bed in the morning.
And you are fucking that up, ma’am
you are fucking that up by pretending there are actual choices.
“ONE FAT GLOB, ONE SUPERLARGE SUGAR WATER AND ONE SUPERLARGE STARCH WAFER!”
Move the line, Socrates
move the fucking line.
Second window, please pull ahead.

And if you can’t
you should be put before a jury of your peers
and if found guilty
you should be hung from the neck until dead
and your body recycled to the Burger King you held up
and flamebroiled for those of us who can hold two thought in our minds
can drive a car and also decided two hamburgers or three
and we will not be able to tell the difference.
Because it’s pretty terrible food.

Hung by the neck until dead.
Hung by the neck until dead.
Second window, please pull ahead.
Have your order ten blocks before you get to the Beef ‘n’ Blow
or be hung by the neck until dead.
It is only common courtesy
social contract, social contract
we’re stuck here at the end of the world
making terrible choices forced upon us
by biology and sociology
the least you can do
is know what you’re doing so we can get it over with fast.

Hung from the neck until dead.
Hung from the neck until dead.
Second window, please pull ahead.