the hell am i supposed to trust her? in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.

so in other news. this is about my mom. er rather this is about what happened um.........fri. evening. [not sure if I’ve written about this yet or not and if I have well here ya go a repeat].

yeah so fri. when she’d pulled up to the curb of the. Mexican place on Colfax we were having dinner. at. i’d gotten out and somehow my um. ankle got stuck under the wheel. well she starts to back up and runs over it. I don’t realize what’s happening at first I think she’s run over my snoowboot so I try to get my foot out of it. well it wasn’t. and that’s when I stopped moving. she pulled forward enough for me to get my foot out.
i’m. I mean my ankle’s mildly sprained [evan’s the only one who knows this]. so obviously i’m not great but it’s more the emotional side of things than the physical. I’ve sprained things before i’ll be alrite. it’s just. idinno. my mom I never. e never have big things like this happen between us. we argue once a yr if that. the last time we had a big out of the ordinary realm of ‘big’. things happening was 6 yrs. ago in paris when she implied I was too big [yeah i’m not big. I might feel big sometimes but physically i’m actually not] to fit on the sofa. that was when I was 21. and I just. even though it wasn’t intentional it still happened. and it’s not ok for people to hurt us. we might and probably do understand why we [er ‘we’. I meant ‘they] do understand why they. hurt us but it doesn’t make it ok. in my book. I.
this just brings me back to. what happened between us growing up. she feels so g*damned bad about that. and about what happened fri. too. I just. I feel like I can’t [well ok I um ‘can’ I just won’t] trust her fully now. i’m just. i’m surprised and a bit confused and legitimately fukin livid. about this. others might not be and that’s ok. we see it differently.