well this is really effing stupid. in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.

well I think it is. I don’t think I’ve written about this.this happened prior to my going overseas.

yeah so I have restrictions put on me. well not like actually physically on me. no but um. like. i’m apparently now allowed to use scissors by myself. no if I want to use scissors I have to ask steph to get them our of my box. same w/ tweezers. and my sewing kit. cause they all think i’ll cut. omygod. I stopped cutting 2 yrs. ago. I’ve never cut w/ big scissors or w/ kitchen knives [though there was a time when I........well I didn’t cut w/ my parents’ kitchen knife. I had other plans for it involving me. nothing came of that though. I’ve never told anyone that. er rather never eluded to it in blog form or any other form]. yeah I get it. everyone’s all about my safety. I got it the first time it was mentioned and I got it the 30th. if i’m required to ask whenever I want to use the scissors. or anything. then i’m not going to ask. i’m 27 **damn yrs. old! well i’m certainly not going to cut now now that they know about it! i’m not that careless. what’s really ironic here is. i’m allowed to have soda, liquor cans which are made of aluminimum which i’m pretty sure is metal. [not like i’d cut w/ those i’m jus sayin. there are lot of things people would cut w/. not me personally but others]. and i’m allowed to have keys. so..............yeah.
they don’t trust me. so...........taking things away from me is somehow better. to me that seems like they’re making it worse. I don’t see as a safety thing. I see it as a fukin annoyance. I don’t want to be understanding. [well no. I generally don’t]. like I already know they don’t trust me. cause I wasn’t open w/ them. no of course I wasn’t. had I been more people would’ve been involved much sooner than this. and even if there are only 3, 4 people i’m open w/ to me that’s still too many. no. I feel like it’s some sort of a weird form of punishment. it’s like ‘well we already don’t trust you so along w/ letting you know that we’re also going to take things away from you’. instead of just letting it go. like yeah I get it they don’t trust me. move the fuk on. [I realise in putting that i’m not doing that either. well it’s not exactly easy to do that when I feel like i’m being constantly reminded that oh i’m not allowed to use scissors by myself. and by the fact that they’re not in the kitchen drawer]. and even when the scissors were in the drawer I never used them to cut. [and btw no I don’t feel bad I wasn’t open w/ them. no it’s the opposite actually. a few times I’ve actually regretted being open w/ them].