Over With in Him

For some reason (possibly because of the weight I’ve gained over the past two months) I’m not looking forward to seeing Him. The weight is part of it, but it’s over. Not that I don’t miss him from time to time, but it’s over. Why draw this out?

We’ve been, not texting, so much as our meme wars, but he’s been cheating by sending videos. I can’t do that with this phone. I use to be able to, but I have a different phone.

Anyway…

I’ve been prepping myself by visualizing me kissing other people. I have dirty thoughts like men all the time. When I see a guy, the first thing I think about is “What would we look like doin it?” Then I scale it back a notch and start out with with “What would we look like kissing?” I know I look kind of funny close up with my eyes closed only because I use to practice kissing myself in the mirror when I was younger and would open my eyes to see what I looked like up close. Shuddup. Don’t talk about me. LOL

Gonna be weird. He’s the one I’ve been kissing for many years. He’s the one that’s been touching me for many years. Now it’s over. Since it’s been so long since I saw him last I’m okay for now. When I see him again, I have to resist the urge for him to try and get me naked. Maybe we will kiss one last time. I don’t know. Maybe we’ll just hug, and he’ll hold me and we will cry and say goodbye and let it be that. Maybe I will have to don my hat once more and keep this thing in check for the both of us.

Now I know what amicable splits are that the celebrities speak of.

“…and I wish you joy, and happiness, but above all this, I wish you love…“