WTF is up with people?!?!?! in Since OD is shutting down....

Alright so I just finished another work with with 37.5 hours, 20 of them just today and yesterday. I’m pretty fucking tired and going to bed once I get done writing this. I have a couple of things I want to talk about as I’ve thought a lot about things and just don’t get people.

Ok so what is the deal with people who don’t have cars and jobs? Why do I always manage find them? I hung out with this chick on Tuesday night and she doesn’t have a car OR a fucking job. Her boyfriend doesn’t either. They basically live off his Mother. They are both older than me by a couple of years. I just don’t know how people can be okay with being bums!!! I know that I’ve had my issues keeping jobs in the past so I’m not trying to be really judgmental here but it’s just crazy how many people I’ve met even in the past couple of years who have these issues and don’t seem to be embarrassed by it at all.

I admit, I let this chick go down on me. I don’t like chicks and don’t find them attractive at all but from being with men who suck at giving me oral, I thought I would experience what it’s like to be with a female. I didn’t do it back and don’t plan to. She wants to hang out like everyday and I have to tell her I’m working, because that’s what I spend the majority of my time doing!!! She’s always texting me tell me how bored she is and it takes everything I have to not write back and tell her to get a fucking job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just can’t wrap my head around how people survive day to day without certain necessities of life and expect other people to always help them out!!! I had trouble keeping jobs because of social anxiety and a variety of health problems but now because I love my job and have plenty of bills, I couldn’t imagine not having a job or how I did for so long. I also can’t understand how there’s so many people that are my age and even older that just plan to sponge off of other people and when they do have jobs, they blow their money on stupid shit and drugs.

Because this chick and her boyfriend are bums, I don’t plan to hang out with her again. I just don’t have the time or energy to hang out with people anyway and then to know that every time we hang out, I’m going to be responsible for giving them a ride, I just won’t do it. I’ve done my share with people and now I’d rather just be single and alone than be around people who just want to use and abuse.

One of the main reasons I stopped hanging out with Eric is because of all the same problems. I got sick of always having to pick him up and take him home because he didn’t have a car but what really iced it was when he started to get demanding and pushy about it. He would message me while I was at work and need a ride......um I’m sorry but I can’t just leave work to get him to work as it’s not my responsibility!!! I told him this more than enough times but he would just keep bugging like I had never said anything at all and that was reminiscent of my ex John. He would do the exact same thing thinking that if he bugged enough he would just get his way, which he didn’t.

I just can't relate to people who are in a shitty spot, especially when they aren't do anything to pull themselves out of it. When I'm around people who don't have jobs or cars, I just don't even know what to talk to them about and that's why I don't really hang out with anyone outside of the people I work with because we have that common ground of our job. I hung out with my friend Heather a couple of times this week and it was really nice. She's a manager at one of our other locations so we don't see each other hardly ever so it was super nice to see her and spend time with her. I love hanging out with my co-workers outside of work because then we get the chance to catch up and with her I don't have to worry about drama starting like with that other bitch because Heather and I have always been able to talk everything out.

Ugh, it’s just ridiculous that I can’t find normal, decent people outside of the people I already know and I’ll be dammed if I let myself be affected by other people’s poor choices. I just won’t. I pay way too much to have a car and I won’t let people use me for it. Honestly, it just irritates me because I have to be adult so when I know people who don’t have the same responsibilities as me, I just don’t feel like I have anything in common with them.

Anyways, I’m going to lay down and watch tv. I’m fucking exhausted. I have to go to my parents tomorrow because today was my little brother’s birthday and tomorrow is Mother’s Day so I need to take something for each other them. I don’t have my niece tonight because I’m just too fucking tired and because I’m not allowed to take her to my parents house so I’d be stuck with her until late afternoon when my brother comes for her and then my whole day would be shot. I do want some time for myself on my days off and it wouldn’t have been possible if I would have taken her tonight. He was pretty pissed when I kept telling him I wasn’t going to take her too. I don’t get why, her grampa wanted her so he still got the night to do whatever. But, that’s how he is. I also am sick of having her every weekend because when I have her, I’m not allowed to have anyone around too. Ugh, there’s just so many issues and I don’t have time or the energy to talk about it right now.

Goodnight.