Don't talk about your wang in Boredoms

“Even in my prime my penis was never anything to write home about.”

“That would be an odd thing to write home about…“

“Dear mother and father,
Things are well with me, the job is going good and I’ve almost paid off my car. In other news my penis is hanging in there (get it, hanging?). I’m sitting at about average right now, though sometimes the little bastard can get a little above. Performance could use work though.”

“Dear, son,
It’s lovely to hear from you and we’re glad you’re doing well…please stop writing about your penis…we don’t want to know.”