lemons (re-worked) in poetry

when life gives you lemons
complain how much you hate lemonade

when life gives you lemons
demand to see the manager because you ordered oranges
and goddamn it in America the customer is always right

when life gives you lemons
cut them in half and hold them to your chest
while singing a song about your enormous nipples

when life gives you lemons
freeze them and throw them through windows
so you can steal something better than lemons

when life gives you lemons
scream at the top of your lungs “MELONS!”
“GODDAMN SPELL-CHECK! MELONS!”
AUTO-CORRECT SUCKS, I WANTED MELONS!

when life gives you lemons
lash them together into a crude raft
ride it all the way to some island paradise
or at least somewhere it doesn’t snow in April

when life gives you lemons
let’s make some MARGARITAS, BITCHES!

when life gives you lemons
use your two hundred thousand dollar degree
in theoretic philosophy
to explain that lemons don’t exist

when life gives you lemons
write a poem about how disappointing that is
be good and be unconventionally handsome
then well at least you’ll also have a poem
to go with all of the stupid useless lemons
you’ve been given