not invited in Depression

Do you ever feel so isolated, that even your efforts to come out of isolation cause you to become more isolated? Does that even make sense?

A college friend - whom I thought was quite a good friend - posted on Facebook saying he was going out tomorrow night with two of the other college people, and that more people can join if they want to. I commented, asking if I could come. In a fun, nice way. Nobody replied. Then hours later I look back and he’s deleted the entire post but has posted since so must’ve seen it. I kind of feel absolutely horrible about this tbh. It could be nothing or it could be exactly what I think it is. I’m just too paranoid to think of other possible conclusions other than they don’t like me anymore, don’t want me to come and don’t want to hang out with the girl who’s depressed.

Put that together with my best friend having a college friends weekend hangout this weekend and me being invited but her asking me not to come as she wanted to bond with them. I haven’t seen her in a while because she has exams and a new boyfriend.

If I didn’t have my boyfriend right now I’d be going insane. I don’t even really want to go out and see people but I know it’s not good for me to stay home all the time.

I just miss my friends