life in Depression

Since college started I’ve been feeling ljke I’m not very important to my best friend. Since she got these new friends it feels kind of disposable to her. Almost like she knows I’m not going to leave her so she doesn’t need to be very nice to me anymore. She seems to understand my depression less, or maybe she just isn’t trying to understand as much as she used to. And now she has a boyfriend, itseems like I’m even less important. I love her but sometimes I wonder if she ever fucking thinks about how I feel before she speaks. Her friends are really fun and nice and they invite me to go woth them places too because they like me as a person,but sometimes she’s just like can you not come I want to hang out with just them and have college time. Fuck off. They fucking invited me too like. She could at least say it a bit nicer. She also said “I know you’re probably bored out of your mind right now” no hun, I’m depressed out of my mind. I want to kill myself and you’re not fucking helping me by being a bitch.

I understand she wants time with just them. I get that. It’s just like, she could have been nicer about it. And she’s not going to tell them the truth about why I’m not coming, she’s going to say I have no money or something.

I just feel very lonely lately and her pissing me off isnt helping.