my tea's gone cold i'm wondering why i got out of bed at all in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.

um. so i’m tired. it’s cold and cloudy here. this weather really throws me. um. so the dr. told me my test results for the STD test and. I don’t have anything i’m good. which I was really hoping I didn’t. and it’s not so much the meds i’d be taking as how if I had an STD I would’ve gotten one. I would’ve gotten it from. my rapists. but I don’t have one, so. I love my new dr. she’s awesome.

Oh so they drew blood to get my thyroid checked today. the guy was cool he was from Africa. he was a big, quiet, unassuming guy. the, guy who drew my blood i mean the plebotomist. I like people from Africa. I like the accents the music. I’ve been a long time ago. I was 10 when we went to Tunisia. it was really. different. my sister’s been to Kenya. we both want to go to new Orleans but we haven’t planned anything yet. I’ve always wanted to go it sounds like such an interesting place..........I like the culture and the history and it’s one of the birthplaces of jazz I think. I like jazz. well I like most music and love music in general but jazz in particular. And I want to seattle. and Jamaica. and san Francisco. oh and um.............Buenos aires. I don’t know why seattle. in a book I read once the character’s friend goes to seattle and something the friend did there appealed to me but I don’t recall what. well Hendrix is from there and I think they have a park dedicated to him. and he’s cool. in my opinion he was a great guitatist. not much of a singer. so that’s another reason to go. and cobain was from Washington state. he fascinates me............ok, tangenting. Jamaica idk. I like warm colorful places. san Francisco that’s where the hippies were at. and they have gay people. [well they have gay people in Denver too but seemingly a lot more in SF]. Buenos aires just sounds so alive and warm.

yeah so I saw my sister yesterday we saw that new movie ‘Home’ it was good. I liked the music and the animation. and the cat. I related to the movie. and then we had thai food which was also good I had pad thai. I usually get eggplant.

on tues I had my appt. w/ dr. dumke. that went well it was uncomfortable. on mon. I.........didn’t see alexis, so. and over the er last weekend I. I forgot what I did. so tom. i’m going to my mom’s. on sat. we’re seeing Motown and then sun. we’re having easter brunch w/ my relatives. so I’ve been a busy lady. I don’t like that plan. and also on sun. after brunch i’m going back to my house. and then back to my mom’s tues. and on mon. i’m seeing alexis. and Hannah.

so last thurs. the...........26th was when I had my eye appt. and that wk. of course er that tues. I was at my mom’s. I didn’t see alexis that mon. either.

oh so the title of this entry refers to the fact that earlier when I was drinking chai [we have one of those keurig coffee makers at my house] it had gone cold. and also today when I got up i’m like no just. no I don’t want to do anything nor do I have the motivation to. idk if I’ve mentioned this but my depression’s heightened. over the past 2 months prior to this one it had gone from a 10 to a 7 then a 6 and now it’s at an 8, 9.

Last updated June 05, 2016