Work d-bag, sleep, Belviq, ERIC. in Since OD is shutting down....

Alright so work has been going alright with the exception of the GM being a little big for his britches and doesn’t know how to handle situations properly. He yelled at me for an issue that I thought was a complete joke and I text the boss to let her know that I don’t appreciate being yelled at and asked her to tell him to chill the fuck out. I’m just worried that not only did I have to change my schedule to avoid that one bitch but I can’t adjust my schedule much more to avoid this guy so I’m hoping he’s going to come down off his high horse or I’m either going to have to transfer to the other store or find a new job all together. I’m not going to stick around and have to walk on eggshells because of someone on a fucking power trip. I’m really hoping that he’s gonna start treating all of us better or I’m gonna have to figure something out.

I was off yesterday but spent a good amount of time cleaning up my house, taking trash out and starting to get my house in a more organized place because I spent about an hour the other night looking for my checkbook so I could pay rent. I’ve let things get completely out of control because I never have the time or energy to deal with it but I plan to get everything even more cleaned up too. It’s just crazy because when I didn’t work, my house was absolutely spotless and now it’s been just a cluttered mess that I can’t handle anymore.

I had a very emotional driven day on Friday because of the Belviq. I finally reached my insurance company just to be told that they won’t approve it at this time until I join Weight Watchers for a year so that it’s proven to them that I’m going to make the changes they need to see. Needless to say, I had my nurse call it in to the Walmart pharmacy but then when I went to pick it up, I was told they didn’t have enough to fill the prescription (they had 54 and I needed 60) so I left super pissed and then called back later and talked to someone else who actually wanted to help me and it was called into the other Walmart and I went and picked it up. I spent a great deal of time finding the coupon for it ($75 instead of $240) and went and picked it up. I took my brother’s girlfriend and my niece with me and bought her a bunch of Easter stuff as well. I really can’t afford to spent a shit ton of money for a prescription but I was hellbent that I was going to have it because after I got to be on it for the 2 weeks, I know exactly what it can do for me and I was going to have it whether my insurance was going to help me or not. I’m actually currently going to shop for my insurance as I’m not going to stay with a company that would put me through such hoops over a medication. I understand where they are coming from but I can’t afford to do Weight Watchers for a fucking year to prove that I’m ready to change! I’m also pissed that I waited over a month to be told no and now I get to go through the side affects again. It’s bullshit that I’ve spent so much money and time just to be paying for it out of pocket! Fuck insurance.

Eric has still been very persistent in hanging out and I am just not interested. The guy blew it back when he blew up my phone that night saying very hurtful, disrespectful things and I just can’t really get past that. I’m also not wanting a relationship anymore. I have enough people in my life that I’m committed to spending time with outside of work that I don’t want a boyfriend that’s going to be up my ass with a fucking broom. I also question his motives due to him not having a car or a stable place to live. I feel like he does everything to convince me that he’s into me for me and not a meal ticket but I just don’t trust him at all. We were actually going to hang out last night until he wrote back asking if I had anything to snack on and yeah, we didn’t hang out. I just felt like it was bullshit that not only was I gonna have to go get him and take him back, but then he wanted to come over and eat my fucking food?!! Um, yeah no thanks!!!! I have a hard enough time keeping food in the house just for myself that I don’t need someone to come over and be a damn mooch!!

I don’t know, it’s like I used to be the most loving, compassionate person that would do anything to help people who were down and out but after being used and abused so much, I’ve finally accepted that people just don’t have the same heart as me so I keep people at a distance because I just feel like I have to be independent and I don’t even dare ask for any kind of help so I really don’t want people to feel like it’s okay to expect the same from me. I’m sorry that Eric is not in a good place but it’s because of the poor choices he’s made and I refuse to let it affect my life whatsoever.

I never had romantic feelings for him at all and then after that night that he kept blowing up my phone being mean, he blew it and I just couldn’t see myself in a relationship with him. I hope he finds someone because it’s just not me. Then the other night he got super pissed because I wasn’t wanting to hang out so he posted an ad on CL talking about how his ex has cheated on him and I could tell he was talking about me, even though we never dated so I can’t be his ex and then he turned it around on me asking why I was on there!! Wow! Reminicent of my ex JOHN! Do something shitty and then turn it around on me when confronted!! LOL!!!! Yeah, no fucking thank you!!!

Anyways, I took like a 5 hour nap and now I’m just waiting for my Tylenol PM to kick in so I can sleep so in the meantime, I’m going to watch TV. More later.