um so on a netflix-ed dr. phil today in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.

so Stephanie & I were watching a Netflix-ed dr. phil earlier today. it was about a daughter Amber, her dad Mike and her abusive mom. whose name I don’t remember. um so it was hard to watch. I told dr. dumke why I don’t trust my dad bc he didn’t protect my sister or I. and I told her I think that I don’t talk about what wen on between my mom I. but then when we were talking it occurred to me that the not think/talking about it serves a purpose. well I mean i’d always known that but I wasn’t consciously aware. of that. and maybe it’s not such a bad thing to not talk/about that. cause I feel like if I did more it would change things between my mom I. and I don’t want to. and the other side of it is I feel like I should talk about it.
yeah so it occurred to me while watching the ep. that some of what had happened was when I was 17. er I mean between my mom & I. and that yr. well we were all pretty individualised. my sister was off doing her thing [drugs] I was doing mine [and then got raped] my mom was taking care of my dad. and I remember being angry emotionally dead that whole yr. I just didn’t understand why. but I think part of it was my mom. part of it was the rape. and part of it was my dad’s situation. so wow.

Last updated January 09, 2016