15-03.31.73 in Book Two: The Fifteenth Year of the Third Millennium of the Common Era

I got zero sleep last night. Genuinely, honestly, I got zero sleep last night. Went to work… court was quick… came home, tried to sleep… still no go.

Today was my wife’s individual appointment with the marriage counselor. When she got home, I let her know that if she wanted to talk about it; I was certainly curious and willing to listen. She produced some papers about Autism that Mag had given her and had a bit of a triumphant look upon her face. She began saying that the lack of affection and the not making me feel loved or wanted is part of the Autism she is now certain she has and that I will have to learn to change my expectations and behavior. I’m trying to keep in mind that during her one-on-one session; the therapist will default to my wife’s needs, during my one-on-one session; the therapist will default to my needs… when we do our next combined appointment on Tuesday, the therapist will default to our needs.

I just… really hope that this counseling thing gets us somewhere. And perhaps it is improper of me to say that I really hope that the “somewhere” isn’t to divorce. I just… I can’t operate in a relationship where my needs are so casually pushed aside.