alcohol, meetings & walmart in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.

so after my eye appt. on thurs. Stephanie & I came back to the house. and we had drinks. well she had a drink i had a bit of hers. mike’s hard lemonade black cherry. that stuff is good. it was our first drink together. a part of me was like ‘well this is weird’ but as i was drinking [as in, due to the fact that I was] it didn’t feel that weird but the other part was like ‘this is how it’s supposed to be’. I don’t drink during the day usually esp. when it’s nice out. I don’t drink to celebrate I drink when i’m sad. or have a lot going on. it’s possible for me to have just 1 drink but i’d rather not. I never would’ve done that w/ my mom who. doesn’t like people drinking anyway. I didn’t grow up in a house that was open about it. which explains why when I had chardonnay in college my first drink I didn’t know what was happening to me I just remember feeling terrible. cause no one had ever told me. and on dates I think I might’ve known I was drunk but that was it. most of the guys I went on dates w/ didn’t say much about it. it wasn’t until I was 24, 25 that I was like ‘oh so that’s what’s happening to my body’. in high school I probably had friends who drank but I didn’t know that. no that was more my sister’s thing. my sister’s only seen me drunk 3 times. I, won’t drink around my family.
um. so yeah after I drank I got sleepy. I never get all that sleepy anymore. which makes it difficult to well sleep. unless I’ve been drinking or i’m stoned. and I don’t get buzzed anymore save for soco which disappoints me. that was part of the reason I drank. but no.
and later that night I had a bottle of the mike’s stuff and then green apple vodka. I was fine. I didn’t get that drunk I know my limits.
yeah so yesterday we - well ok stephanie - had a meeting w/ some people about Christopher. well they got here at 2:30 and I thought they’d be done by 3:30 cause that’s what she told me. well they were done by 5:20. after which we went to wal mart. for a big place there were a lot of people there. whole foods is the same way. it was nice save for the fact that I was hungry. and also I don’t like shopping w/ other people. it takes longer. ya know you can’t just get what you want when the other person wants stuff to. and I don’t drive, so. we were done by 8:30 we got back at 9. we spent the 1st hr. getting stuff that wasn’t on the list. she’s really friendly which I forgot about it. she likes people and I. don’t. i’ll usually say ‘hi’ or ‘thank you’ to the store clerks er I mean the cashiers but that’s it. i’m not one to strike up a conversation w/ them. and she is. like i’m not here to socialise. if I wanted to do that i’d go to a bar. that’s why I like self checkouts. she’s lovely but not low key at all. it would take me a lot of energy to be as happy and energetic as she is. being around her is taxing. ya know jenn and I can be in the kitchen and not talk and it’s not cause we’re put out it’s cause we’re both quiet people. Stephanie isn’t. used to be we’d be in the car and she’d be talking most of the time. it’s like omygod will you just be quiet for 5 mins.? a little silence goes a long way. I have the same problem w/ dogs. I don’t not. like them I just don’t prefer them. they always want to play w/ you and they’re always in your face. well I like the big mellow older ones cause they’re not like that. stevie’s not like that. except he’s old and it makes me sad. but he’s quiet content. he looks confused a lot and he’s starting to wander around more. in in my mom’s house I mean. Stephanie talks to me when i’m brushing my teeth [although sometimes it’s about that] um. I really can’t talk then. like I talk a lot [I also go on a lot. clearly] but only when I have something to say. I don’t like small talk [which ironically is for people who don’t I’ve heard] bc it’s not you know deep. it doesn’t feel like a real conversation. yeah so quiet people. I like that plan.
ok done going on. maybe.

Last updated May 29, 2015