A lot of Pain in Torridaussity Two

Well as you all know I am not a frequent write on here, well I can when I make an effort, but I tend to keep to myself as in my own brain rather than even share on here my deepest darkest thoughts and secrets. I have in the past 3 weeks, had severe left shoulder pain. Once was two weeks ago and it took three days for my muscles to relax and to have normal mobility in my arm. It started again yesterday. Today it was so bad I almost couldn’t get my bra on to go out. It just aches and I want to cry. This happened in my right arm a few years ago, at first my doctor thought I had dislocated it. It is a muscular problem. My muscles get super tight and won’t move. I am also experiencing pain in my lower left back and have been having frequent headaches over the past few weeks as well. I don’t understand where all this pain is coming from, but I want it to go away.
On a more profound front something emotional happened today. I belong to the Grange, which is a community service organization and we had a meeting today normally we meet once a month, but January and February were canceled because of the weather. Well last January all those her were at the meeting wrote down a prediction for what would happen in 2014. My grandmother was also a member of Grange and she had written one. She passed away in June of 2014. The predictions had been in a box, not looked at since January of 2014. Her prediction was “be called home to heaven” Her prediction came true. My mom, dad, and I all choked up at that. But it reminded me that she is always with us no matter what and one day I will see her again.
On yet another note. I am jealous of people lately. I am feeling so lost in where I want my life to go and always thought it would be different than it has been. I don’t begrudge others their happiness not would I want to take it away from them, I just want it too.
Thanks for reading, love you all.