it's like he's on a long vacation. *unacceptance* in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.

Ya know. I still don’t want to accept that he’s gone. pat I mean. I keep thinking he’s on a long vacation and he’ll be back one of these days. but he won’t that’s the thing. and that’s what really sucks. he won’t ever come back. yeah I haen’t accepted it. he was my best friend and I...............damnit. I didn’t even know if he knew he was going to go. maybe he didn’t. the last time I saw him we talked about music like it was the most normal thing in the world. ya know. I don’t remember our first conversation but I remember our last it was the one about music as said. maybe it seems. obvious or w/e to put it like that. ‘we talked about music like it was the most normal thing in the world’. yeah but looking back. if he’d known..........he was going to go.................[looking at it from that side] I just. I think maybe we would’ve talked about that. the last time I saw him was good I just. wish it hadn’t been the last time. when he left my place that night he looked ready. to go. one of the last songs he sang to me was ‘leavin on a jet plane’ that’s why I don’t want to listen to ti. I haven’t for almost 2 yrs. oh also ‘stand by me’. I don’t know what his side of things is now and we can’t know bc he. he doesn’t have thoughts anymore. since he’s you know. not here. but I like to think that it’s the message of ‘leavin on a jet plane’. well what I think that song’s about. and how it relates. ‘don’t know when i’ll be back again................I hate to go’. well. but that’s only if someone knows they’re leaving. or they might want to leave I don’t know. ‘stairway to heaven’ was one of the last songs he played for me on guitar.
um cathy his sister told me I was the last person over there [their place] before...........it happened. that was um. feb. 26th 2 yrs. ago. that was a Tues. apparently. I don’t know how I remember this but the last time I saw him was either March 3rd or the 10th.
I’ve never told anyone that never written it.

Last updated May 29, 2015