"BYE BYE, STEEL BLUE EYES?" in "RESTLESS: POETICALLY-SPEAKING"

It was a familiar face.
He was no stranger,
smiling at me as I made my way
towards this messenger
on one sunny day.

He said you were in town,
although not for long.
I hope I hadn’t worn a frown,
since I had no time to see you before you were gone.

I didn’t know what to say.
I kept my face well-composed, as if unaffected.
I didn’t want to give it away.
I’d rather appear emotinally-detached.

Perhaps I should remain independent.
You’ve always been impressed with me.
How I wish I could just pretend
that it was easy to accept that we could never be.

I think I should return to how I was before,
before these feelings existed and developed.
Perhaps I won’t love you this much anymore
and make sure this old heart won’t go shattered.

Yes, I guess I could do that.
All I have to do is try.
It shouldn’t feel so bad.
There’s no need for me to cry.

Perhaps soon those days will pass
and I no longer feel haunted by your steel blue eyes…

R.
(Jakarta, 7/3/2015 – 10:00 pm)