Promise Ring Entry in Friends With the Benedicts

So this is just an entry about an entry. LOL. I need to write about a few key things that are going on right now but to be honest, most people who read me here, also have me as a friend on FB, so lots of people know anyway. Not that I think my life is all that important, but you get my snowdrift. lol. So, some things I need to touch on, particularly the one involving me before I might be admitted to the hospital on Friday, is that I am having an issue with my left leg/foot. It is either (very likely) MS related and probably what they call “Drop Foot”, (look it up) or the thing I am kinda sorta worried about is that I’ve had another stroke or TIA. The reason I am kinda worried it’s that, is that it’s not just my leg/foot, but rather my whole left side is weak. BUT - it always is. lol. Just, not this much. And definitely not as far as my walking stick goes. That thing do NOT work right now. But I am having no other symptoms that would lead me to believe stroke over DF, and I passed the strokey test when I held stuff out and Laura watched me. So, yea.

And today has been really hard for me seeing as how I have never felt physically disabled before when it comes to my MS, and she’s been asleep for like 16 hours. I did say something like, “Hey, I’m gettin kinda tired, so if you wanted to spend time with me before I go to bed then you should get up.” To which she replied, “Ya know, I don’t bother you when you’re sleepin.” to which I replied, “Um, I just didn’t want you to be all pissy cuz I went to bed and you didn’t get to see me, I have stuff to do tomorrow, so don’t be all actin pissy with me when I have to leave early in the morning and am gone all day.” I don’t remember how she said it or what I said that she was responding to, but at some point she pretty much said she wasn’t worried about spending time with me before I went to bed. Ouch. Especially since, DUH, it wasn’t even really about that, that was just an excuse to try to make her wake the fuck up!!! So, after that, I proceeded to feel way sorry for myself that I am falling apart, and tears and snot were had by all within a 5 foot radius. I’m sure she’ll wake up, one day, lol, and we’ll talk about it and how she hurt my feelings and blah blah, but right now I’m still PISSED off. lol. Well, I gotta go let the stupid dogs out now, since Kya won’t bark when I actually want her to. Heh, I’m so bad. “Oh no honey, did the dog wake you up?” Stomps loudly out of the room since I actually CAN do that and say I have to! Bum leg for the win! :(

Oh, and I need to write about Mommy and a few other things. LOL Heart yall. <3

Steph