Well Shit in Book Two: The Fifteenth Year of the Third Millennium of the Common Era

My wife may be pregnant. Which would be just my luck! I mean think about it… my wife is over 34… she had been on birth control pills for a decade… she even had an abortion years before I met her… all of which are supposed to make pregnancy more difficult… then add to that the fact that we had sex for the first time in a long time… and that it was the first time ever we had sex without any sort of protection.... so, in a sense.... it is the perfect concoction for “if a baby happens, it is because either… I am super potent, my wife is super fertile, or God is really trying to get us pregnant.

Which… I wouldn’t be surprised about. I’ve never had issues with faith until lately. Like, no matter what was going on… I’ve never doubted the existence of God. But as I studied for the bar this time? As I prayed in earnest and tried as hard as possible… I felt a distinct lack of God. It was devastating. I mean… on the whole, I suppose I can understand that if I shouldn’t be a lawyer, that would be one way of God intervening.... but… little late, buddy. The Bar Exam is the Final Exam of Law School… so… if the message is “Don’t be a lawyer” the time to give that message is either before Law School or after the Bar Exam. Doing it right now? That would be like… well… that would be like someone running a Charity Marathon for MS and having a freak accident cripple you for life at the 25 mile marker! So… I’m having a crisis of faith already… and now this possible pregnancy.

Funny thing is… if I pass the bar this time and get a job before June… and my wife is pregnant… then the timing would be okay. If I fail the bar this time? A pregnancy would be the cherry on top of the shitstorm of my life.